inanna. of course. more specifically, her descent to the underworld. if that's not inspirational, i don't know what it is.

you know, i do not complain a lot. but this year actively wanted to make a point of knocking me over. don't ask me to be philosophical about it.
the fall of the TV. and they still owe me money. by the way i did not forget about that
that stint at the newspaper
the whole subsequent mess that followed. and the waiting
bureacracy (you know, hell is made of bureacracy)
the death of paco
mom's heart attack
the romantic trials and tribulations which led to several "pounding into the ground" moments. like wtf was "i'm not ready for a relationship?" (does one need special training for that?? i thought it was all about "i like you and you like me back and let's move on from there". i still think that). and then there were other "feeling like being flayed alive" epic moments which shall not be mentioned because i seriously want to be amnesiac about those.
waitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. which i loathe with all my heart. waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggg for people to make up their mind, for things to happen, for whatever blah.
i say to 2012: let's move on. go. stop waiting. put things in motion because motion is good and let's make good stuff happen without having to endure a whole plethora of issues. keywords: NICE AND EASY. i need NICE. and i need EASY. AND MONEY AND LOVE GOT THE NICE AND EASY WAY. seriously. throw the challenges at the adrenaline junkies.

....most of them not the easy way. actually it was pretty gory some of the times. and considering that a vast majority of my dating life was about aquarians, i know what i am talking about:
- stand my ground.
- saying what i have to say in a very direct and precise way because allusions just won't do it.
- the above 2 things are the main reasons why i come off as blunt, confrontational and forceful. the "break my heart and i'll break your neck" attitude came after a series of unfortunate events that did not end until i pounded them into the ground.
- independence (you know, my instinct tells me to be co-dependent. then i met some aquarians who would not co-depend. i would still gladly and happily co-depend but on some normal terms)
- self-confidence. that was also forged during the water-bearer wars. partially because if you survive those battles, no one can practically do anything to you.

the fire-version. blood and guts. look at the xena kicking ass.



the water version. campy, funny and with a piranha edge in it.

why don't we get our snow white? as in the air-sign version of snow white??? come on, we promise we're fun!!

actually it's one of the best and sensible lines in movie history:

will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts.

also, i would like to thank the universe for my xena BFF, sister-fish and her psychic insight that i promise to listen religiously from now on and never question it again, my gemini BMF and all the other people who keep me on an even keel. they are my tribe.

again, words of wisdom from mystic medusa
"Dark Moon Bitch Goddess Lilith is in late Aries and opposing Saturn: that combined with Uranus Direct has quite a few peeps telling tradition, patriarchy, one authority in particular to go fuq itself – definitely a spirited re-think of received opinion, especially from older males/Saturn figures."
wow, that sort of explains everything, since saturn is on my sun and by extension lilith is opposing those 2 planets. and pluto too. and my natal lilith. 

conflict management 101 and assertive communication :

stay on subject and avoid generalizations - check
avoid comparisons - check
describe what you feel and be really specific - check,
offer explanations, motives for the way you feel that way - check.

then the teacher/psy offered the example of "you left the lights on in the bathroom. do turn them off, it bothers me when you leave the lights on". and then i asked her "what if the person you're asking to turn the lights off is not listening to your very specific demand and instead starts talking about the history of electricity?" she said: "basically it means that person is not interested in what you have to say".
in conclusion, i'd like to thank the universe deeply for the absolutely delicious treat it sent to me after a bitter pill.

...."you have pretty feet", he said.

other than that, a very libra video/song

first of all - orangelove. it's orangelovely to say the very least.

yes, it is THAT cute. then again, i am utterly hooked on weird and potentially tragic love stories so i may be really biased. also, the actress is unbelievably beautiful.




and of course, there's also the video. and the whole idea of "boy meets girl. tragedy ensues and the along the way there's a lot of symbolism and pretty imagery" is probably a plot one can sell to me over and over again.
also, remember the libra hero? i just noticed there is a pattern for the libran female characters as well - very likely to get killed off for extra romantic tragedy and moving the plot forward. cases in point: "restless" (mia tragically dies of cancer), "contagion" (kate winslet and gwyneth die of that horrible disease), "revolutionary road" (again, kate dies. you know, i actually think "revolutionary road" portrays successfully the dynamics of a libra/scorpio relationship which is one of terminal misunderstanding and in the long run very frustrating for both parties. but neither is giving it up because not so deep down both are relationship signs. on the other hand, in titanic, the scorpio brooding hero leonardo does die and the libra kate survives, but in my opinion that was just the exception that confims the rule), "quills" (kate, again, dies and her wanna-be scorpio lover joaquin weeps), gwyneth in "se7en" (it was the "oh no, he DIDN'T JUST DO THAT" horrifying moment), marion cotillard in "inception" (again, with leonardo di caprio. again libra/scorp. and she haunts him).
now that i think of it, guess the libra-romantic-heroine death is more tragic when the lover is a scorpio. and even if she doesn't die the love story oozes tragedy. look, in shakespeare in love the put together libra gwyneth with gemini joseph fiennes. of course it was fun and light-hearted and the underlying tragedy was averted. because, you know, this is how libra/gem works.
on the other hand, i can't think of a single movie with a libra/aqua romantic relationship. the prestige does qualify on a level, in that the two magicians, hugh jackman and christian bale, are libra and aquarius and it is brilliant in portraying the "merlin" side of the air-sign men. it is also brilliant in portraying the extremes of behavior air-signs are capable of. there's also "mysterious skin", but it's a friendship between the male gay lead and a libra female so it doesn't really count. oh yes. "a walk on the moon" with aqua diane lane and libra viggo. AND libra liev schreiber. hmmm....

a.k.a the avengers. no, i am not kidding, this movie spells clearly the fire signs philosophy and appropriately most of the main characters are embodied by fire signs actors.



so: iron man is ramzilla, thor is ridiculously leonic (he even has the trademark blonde mane!!), nick fury, the hulk and the black widow are saggis and captain america is...gemini (but that does not count, as we already established geminis are the only true actors in the world).

ridiculous textbook astrology dialogue ensues:

Tony Stark: No offence, but I don't play well with others. (VERY ramzilla. rams take charge. they lead, you follow and you don't question their orders)
Steve Rogers: You're a big man in a suit of armour... take that away, and what are you? (gemini razor-sharp tongue example here. geminis thrive on a good quarrel)
Tony Stark: A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist? (ramzilla in action again. unshakable, ego the size of china and damn proud of it. plus he got those titles all by himself. totally self-made success story and he will let the whole world know about that)
[Thor laughs] (because he's a leo and inside his head he's just watching his courtiers squabbling and that's entertaining. and, you know, he's A GOD. with a trademark golden mane. whereas iron man is well... just a man. as in not a god with a golden mane)

and guess who they're fighting? loki the aquarius (for some yet unknown reason aquarian actors make great villains on screen. or at least heros with a dark side - think batman) who wants to destroy the world and gives all these heros a chance to righteously bash heads, blow up stuff and show off while the entire world applauds.
yes, i know, i said libra males make also great heros on screen, but we're talking a different kind of hero here. the libra-hero is the gallant knight in shining armour type (which is why they didn't have hugh jackman or will smith in this movie. i mean it would have been the aragorn-boromir scenario all over again and that didn't make the ram look good). the fire-sign hero is bold brash and not so deep down, more of a warlord who can't wait to get to the action scenes. the philosophy of the fire sign hero is simple : he's the good guy with a mission to crush the bad guy and blow him up to smithereens or at least make him beg for forgiveness in public.

which is why i totally want to see this movie now.

you know, whiny-teen meets vampire-unicorn story? it's just 11 more days and it will be in cinemas and by all the gods i will be there because we are getting to the good parts now. sexing (FINALLY! NO, REALLY. I'VE READ 4 BOOKS AND WATCHED 3 MOVIES FOR THIS SCENE - edward cullen breaking the bed? hell, that image fills me with unholy glee), violence, all the drama of 3 soap-operas combined (half vampire baby? that jacob imprints on? after he said he declared undying love to his mother?) and then the volturi show up and the big un-epic finale ensues... next year.





*and if this all sounds like i am a little insane, just remember that i see like this: no matter how weird my life gets, at least i won't have a half-vampire baby to eat me up from inside.

...seriously, after reading so much ridiculous relationships advice on the internet (astrology and tarot reading look like exact sciences compared to that!!), i've decided to come up with my own version of "how to tell if he's into you". i am dismissing the entire idea of "signs he's up to something" because, frankly, signs and omens are divination territory and therefore the interpretation can vary wildly and we're not getting anywhere.

so, according to me, your guy is really really into you if:
1. he's always there and he actively seeks your company. yes, it's that simple. if he wants you, he's all over you. and if he can't be there you know what he's doing, with whom and for how long. because he tells you so from his own initiative. the more he wants to talk to you and see you, the more he likes you.
2. he wants to know you and not only in the biblical sense. he's interested in your life, tells you about his life and asks for feedback. he wants to know about your friends, family, interests, daily trivia, blah blah blah, whether you're happy and volunteers information about these things too.
3. he's not vague or shy why it comes to relationship talk. he actually initiates it. he wants to know how things are between you, why they are like that, he makes plans for your common future. he's not afraid of potentially thorny issues and doesn't pretend there's no elephant in the room. also he says he loves you a lot. and shows it to you. that includes arguing with you over small stuff or bigger stuff or whatever
4. his friends and family know about how much he likes you and he wants you to meet them. the whole "us in public" is actually a major plot point. as long as he's holding your hand, kissing you and makes it very clear to everyone he is with you, shiny lulz, he actually likes you.
5. he doesn't make you feel insecure and doesn't take you for granted. ever. 

...and what i wish for. the video says it better

...that's very appropriate with halloween incoming and all.

first of all, let's define plutonians. they're not necessarily scorps. they're people with a strong pluto (conjunct sun, in the first house, stuff like that). and they feel each other accurately. because plutonians are very able to dissimulate their feelings and thoughts ... except in front of other plutonians. they just KNOW if one of their tribe is happy/distressed/in trouble/ cooking up something....
example: party, last night. felt worried. uber-libran of the pluto tribe immediately picked it up, looked straight into my eyes and extended one hand. touched it with the fingertips. "how does it feel?". "warm, zen.... thank you"

on the other hand, there are temporary members of the pluto tribe (particularly those who have pluto transiting their first house) and those are not a pretty sight. i've witnessed that, first hand. they feel they are being dragged to hell, stripped of all their power and sense of self. you know, this won't end until they reach the bottom, be naked and hanged on a hook. only after that they can reclaim who they are

for better or for worse i suffer of a fatal attraction towards:

a. fire-sign females aka fire-xenas. my best friends have been either aries or leo. they're uber-supportive, optimistic, fun to be around, passionate, energetic and have a lot of initiative (which suits this libby-fleur just fine as i get to fawn over them to my heart's content). however, the males of the species are.... let me find the nice words for them. most of the time they're too... to say the very least, demanding.

b. air-signs males aka air merlins. because while they have some exasperating traits, you can eventually reach an agreement (most of the times, at least). because they can cook and they are very smart and funny and their achille's heel is romance. seriously, they have the "wow" in the romance department. nevermind what they say about fire guys being passionate, water guys being mushy or earth guys being sensual. air sign males will woo you like no other. because they have staying power.because they can offer unbiased opinions. and sometimes they are positively magical. because they are the right confidantes. just like fire signs females.

i am not saying that the rest of the zodiac isn't awesome in its own right just that... oh well, that's me.

intense?
transformative?
touching the very core of the being?
verging on the taboo?
bringing out the raw side?
does it deal with power in any way (okay, the first thing that comes in mind is control and jealousy. but pluto can play in much more subtle ways with power - such as being actually empowering)? 

if you check all of the above, congratulations, you have a pluto kind of love

"Letting your guard down has never come easily to you, but with someone you know and trust, you're more than open. Be careful to choose the right confidante. That goes double for now.

...about astrology. in romanian. here

...come in 2 varieties for me. one is the friday where things sail incredibly smooth, the other is the "meh" friday with all sort of weird things happening.

...one of the best lines i came across today. it can be applied in many situations and at a certain point can save you a lot of trouble and neurons.

...mostly because i have more spare time now and less stuff to freak out about.
gemini are less flakey than traditional astrology wants us to believe. most of those i know, aside their big mouths, they're actually more traditional and more routine-loving than the other air signs. and contrary to popular opinion, once they're in love, they're very faithful. also, they cherish long-term friendships.

no matter how sweet they may appear to the world, capricorns have a nazi-like approach to relationships. which works fine with taurus for strange reasons.

scorpios couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it. i seriously mean that - witnessed it at least a frillion times.

cancer men have a roving eye that would put casanova to shame (that would be sister's observation, to be more accurate).

schmoozing always works with leos. translate that into "give them attention, do stuff together with them and ask for their opinion" not necessarily "tell them they're the best". i should know, i have 3 decades of experience with a leo dad.

virgos never like anything. ever. they have a fault-finding radar that prevents them to be truly happy.

water signs are less forgiving than astrology says they are. especially pisces.

so there are people who love me in many ways (whoever came up with that theory that co-dependency is bad for you was a miserable sod) and the pretty - that is shoes, perfume and clothes. and cherry-filled crepes. and lovely summer in october.what did you expect from a shallow libra? pretty things and love is all we need to be happy.
yes, i know, i am utterly spoiled right now by the universe (ok, not utterly. there's one thing missing to complete the picture. universe, you know what i mean. like, do your job and make it happen) which is a wonderful change of events and let's keep things that way.

...i wished for an eric northman to solve at least partially some of my problems (i know. libra female thing. we love to be rescued some times) and i got it. ok, it's not tall, blonde or vampire. it's not even male. but, damn, who cares about viking vampire (who, by the way, can't face bureaucracy in the morning because he would fry) when you have a feisty aries best friend to rescue you?
so we went to that-place-where-they-eat-your-soul with a stack of papers AGAIN and i nearly had a heart attack because something was wrong AGAIN (look. don't ask. my theory is that people there don't want anyone to collect unemployment and they have fun making you run around in circles) but there she was! my angel! we went out, smoked a cigarette and made a plan. then she made some phone calls and boldly entered the building and owned them all and nobody saw any more mistakes and we were done in about 1 hour.
now, excuse me while i fawn over my champion. thank you, universe.

october will be better because i say so and because, seriously, september sucked royally on almost every plan of existence. and i need a break from that. starting tomorrow morning.
on the other hand, the good thing about this past month (and it was and still is really really good) is that there are people who love me and are supportive. people who were there and that's a huge boon.

lady godiva.

somehow, i also like this other painting but... seriously. lady godiva with her head down?
according to legend, she rode around the town naked in order to protest against the unfair taxes imposed by her husband. so, seriously, a character like that wouldn't keep her head down.

also, because i had to talk astrology here, i have a double-whammy transit of mars-godiva. i think this may be a message from the stars to channel the extra-oomph and go get them.

by the way, i like it how mystic medusa puts it "Maybe she was a Libra whose lover had said he couldn’t see her that week as he was worried about his tax bill so she thought she’d multi-task – gallop past his house naked so she could see what he was missing, scout for fresh lovers AND incite a tax riot."

you know, anarchism has sometimes a point. a very strong point. as proven today, yet again, it seems that bureaucracy exists only to eat your soul and, frankly, i suspect that some terrorist movements were created after otherwise nice and law-abiding citizens were driven mad by the absurdity of a system which requires you to run around for weeks for no apparent reason. and then it's still your fault!!!!!! nghhh....
okay. so. breathing. get in touch with the dark moon. because there's an upcoming awesome new moon tomorrow, which is my new moon and fabulous things are bound to happen so i'll channel into it

note: amnesiac eric northman is what i need. not the fuckwitter extraordinaire he was before, although, in the light of this incredible mess that expands rapidly each day, i could compromise on that. one word - glamoring.  second word - he's fiction so i can project whatever qualities i feel like on him without feeling like i'm asking too much.

vampire blood can cure anything and paco would be alive and well
glamoring - he could have erased all the pain, frustration, doubts, tears, stress of this effin' september with one look. and, internets, trust me on this one, i need all those things erased out my head. whoever said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger had a point, but i would like to add that i'm basically a shallow libra and i thrive in peace, harmony and not having to deal with a megaton of bad things. yes, i am very able to do it, but it doesn't mean i like it or that it's thrilling in any way. this month sucked royally all the way so far on so many levels, i'm somewhat stunned by still being functional. so - eric- glamoring - god, here's the consent forms signed in triplicate!!!!
menace factor - 100+. that is incredibly useful. who would dare to make your life miserable when you date an 1000+ years old viking vampire who's towering over everyone and is killative? seriously, no one with a slight sense of self-preservation.
super-speed and agility and ability of making things all right. plus he doesn't give up. if he wants you, he'll come get you, bill or no bill, and he'll love you forever. plus, he can feel if you're in danger and he can and will actually rescue you. which means i can finally put the big-girl panties in a drawer and be a damsel in distress. at least occasionally (and at this point it would be such a blessing)
he's also sensitive, vulnerable, loving, caring, supernatural and deviously smart. not to mention a former viking prince.

that's my best explanation for the things that happened in the last few days. weeks actually, but they definitely grew exponentially the more we got close to the equinox. so far, only the spring equinox brought stressful situations but looks like the autumn equinox can do the same things only much worse. shifting the balance is a very dynamic process and that's that, there's no way around it. as much as i feel like hiding under the bed for the next few days, the only real option is to put my big girl panties on and soldier on. that or channel my inner eric northman because everyone knows he was very good at convincing.
so, happy mabon

found a post today about relationships on a blog i read - reading blogs is a ...guilty pleasure, i guess. plus it suits my up close and personal nature. that is, it lets me peek into people's mind and see how they work, what ticks them and so on and so forth - which of course it's interesting, because it's the R word (sacred in the book of libra). the bottom line is the author seems to consider them exhausting and too complicated. well, no one said meeting the other is a simple thing. on the other hand, you can't expect the other to adjust to your every whim without giving something in return - but that's a little difficult to explain to a cappy who fantasizes about muscular actors, has raunchy language and a whole theory to reinvent her life.

because it's the house of the moon and stuff.
oh, yes, and the stare... i know that
other than that: gathering the courage to deal with things. i will not say more because it is painful, whichever way you look at it. and ... yes. as every monkey knows, nothing in life is definitive, except one thing. and that thing i have to accept, because there is no way around it and that's that.

some venusian voodoo that is

considering that everyone is taking their sweetass time to do anything while i run around like a headless chicken, i'm going to do the libra thing now to restore the balance and my sanity. that is, i'll sweetly take a break too and go do my nails and my hair chez le wonderful hairstylist who restored my inner zen last time. because the rest of my problems will still be there ...

you know, i have this theory according to which, besides gemini and maybe saggitarius, no other sign can truly act - meaning completely disguise their personality.
another case in point - easy a. it works and it's fun because they picked the scorpios to do it. i mean - taboos, secretes, sex, gossip, did-she-do-it-or-didn't-she - that's scorpio territory, complete with drama and a facade of snarkiness which hides a lot of sensitivity. because, y'all, scorpios rival pisces in the feeling department (this is why piscean bruce willis always plays the savior). and emma stone is a scorpio and so is woodchuck todd (which should have been meerkat todd, shiny lulz. that's trufax - i've read it on imdb so it must be true) - while BFF rhiannon is an aries (and martian badassery collides so, duh, no wonder they couldn't be friends. they're competing).
...and we know this is a scorpio movie from the opening line "The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated." says olive. you know, because we all expect scorpios to do it with everyone. which they don't but they look like it anyway and they will play along with that because it's the power trip they get. also - the scarlet letter, written by a cancer - and being inspired by it too. you know, it's totally the sort of book water signs would read and act accordingly to its teachings.
and let's not forget the whole religion thing. yep, that's also scorpio territory.
...and, somehow unsurprisingly, the writer of the movie is a libra. but i think he had in mind something more on the "les liaisons dangereuses" side. we're into that type of intricate and convoluted plots.

...it's mainly good and positive vibes.
i particularly like this part: " Riches of the soul are strewn along the way, often appearing as symbols of love and money. So get on that bridge and make your way towards whatever or whomever you desire". this is speaking directly to my venusian soul - love and other good things in life. i want them

...is going well.
by the way: it's better to invest energy into actually creating something positive. it...pays off eventually.

..and work with what you've got (note to self: after all, it isn't the first time and you survived pretty well the last rounds)

"the general vibe is moving on from catharthis/forced growth/getting a grip etc to romance, inspirational genius, neo-capitalism and self-promo publicity style ventures. It’s like strong Jupiter action, haute Pisces and Venusian Voodoo."

 jupiter is luck, haute pisces is inspirational and has its own set of deities protecting him/her (an entire pantheon, it's more like it) and smoothing the road ahead and venusian voodoo is love and money. also charm - loads of it, don't be afraid to use to attract the good things in your life :D

especially if you take them "just in case" and you don't feel like running around in circles for various reasons which are too complex to explain right now. bottom line - fighting severe sleepiness for at least 3 hours now, gods, please, have mercy and don't let me fall asleep on the keyboard!!!! okay, look, this is highly ironic, because if i actually try to catch a nap at noon on saturdays when i have nothing to do i can't, but right now i could fall asleep sitting in a chair. an uncomfortable chair. the extra irony will come in later when i'll just be fully awake and kicking.
in the meanwhile - sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

..not only with actual physical pain (which sucks. and who is subsiding) but also with overactive imagination and bouts of mild paranoia. i blame that on the sun-pluto-lilith conjunction and the planets being all clustered together which usually translate into the "get up and go and do something about stuff" attitude. which would be all shiny lulz in theory. but when i can't actually "get up, go and do something about stuff" i'm left with running around in circles and my overactive imagination.

...ok, that's not that smart. note to self: remember about the challenge? you never thought it might actually be a good thing... who would have thought that adjusting to the whole idea of good and normal things happening would be actually a challenge. there you have it, self. deal with it and stop whining.

...also repeat "it's going to be okay" again.

Five Card Practical Tarot

Card One is Past Influence, Card Two is Present Influence, Card Three is Major Influence, Card Four is Advice and Card 5 is The Outcome. If you want more clarity you can then add TWO more cards to help “explain” the Outcome card but that is IT.

i like the sound of it

ok, those i am going to do :D

"contagion" - no, i mean it.

Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet (there you go, 4 of the stars, all libra) Laurence Fishburne (leo), Jude Law (capricorn), plus supporting players Bryan Cranston (pisces), John Hawkes (virgo), Elliott Gould (virgo), Demetri Martin (gemini - because you can't make a movie without one) and Jennifer Ehle (another capricorn). i mean, why didn't they throw in susan sarandon and hugh jackman (who, by the way, already played a scientist/doctor on a quest to save his loved one?)

"An action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak."
expect characters to act appropriately heroic, almost quixotic in their quest to save the world from doom, team work, personal drama. you know, now i have to see it.

quick glance at astro chart shows that ...well, transiting lilith in aries is opposing my natal lilith so expect more intensity. and in the meanwhile it opposes saturn. like - rebellious woman-figure vs. stern father-figure. it sort of makes sense, thinking in retrospective. the self-titled "all-father", who's no odin by the way (jung would be so proud of me right now, using archetypes and all. also, i like odin, even if he's morally ambiguous. odin didn't get away with so many things as other all-father figures. he actually got dead for 9 days in order to learn rune magic and paid with his eye to gain knowledge) tries to impose the whole "my rules are to be blindly obeyed because i said so" attitude to a woman who operates on a different level and despite whatever ideas he might have in his head, will not accept someone else's authority without thoroughly questioning the motives first. and trying to put her down actually shows that he's very insecure about his so-called "power".   
if there's one thing i learned from lilith is to get in touch with the shadow side and own it. acknowledging that there is fear, insecurity, intensity, passion, vulnerability, anger, pain and it's ok to feel that provided a lot of relief. maybe this is where the confidence comes from. i shall go into uncharted territory knowing that it's the right thing to do. and i will not let go of the other's hand either. yes, this is also lilith thing. in my mind, it wasn't actually the "laying beneath" that made her mad. it was the "lay beneath him because i said so" that triggered her anger.

and so there we had red riding sookie who turned the tables on the big bad wolves eric and bill. and she was posing. and it was a very shiny lulz moment "i want both of you to love me or none at all" - and the wolves vampires comply which shows the awesome powers of the RED. blood, seduction, forbidden fruit, what have you, sigi would have a ball analyzing it. i am having a ball analyzing it - loss of innocence, appropriating the red symbolism (true blood anyone???), the hunted becoming the hunter.
by the way, bill, or more exactly stephen moyer is a libra. so of course his character is magnanimous - "libra male actors always get to play the hero or at least the charming bastard" myth is once again confirmed. mostly because librans live in a world of lofty ideals and try hard to make reality something that's not nasty, brutish and short.
by the way, when nan criticizes bill for not being decisive about killing eric? yep, libra again. libra heroes don't kill people unless they really really have to and it'd better be in fair combat.

....when you actually do your job and you have to wait months to get the money for your work. when people don't understand that you were bound by a contract which goes both ways - i do my job, you pay me for my job ON TIME, not when you damn please to do it. without offering any explanation and thinking, and what's more, that it's like your divine right to do whatever the actual f... you want. and in the meanwhile, i have to deal with the consequences - which are not pretty.

later edit > saturn girl advice (i told you astrology is inspirational) "Remember; you don’t get to do all the fabulous Neptune, Pluto and Uranian transformations until you’re able to channel Saturn Girl. She’s all about getting thy shit together, no complaints, no delusions, no lingering in the past other than to learn important lessons and/or for psych growth."

retro merc vs neptune - oooooo, the charm. the dreaming! the butterflies!!
i'm not even sure what sane means anymore. it just feels right.
anyway, movie...





i know, it's so....... just so. retro merc vs neptune...

...there are people who put it better than i do. from here

"Aphrodite is quite angry. This goddess of sexuality expects us to recognize that sex is a sacred and soulful force. She wants us to ignite with her divine spark, to become instruments of pleasure. She wants us to obliterate boredom and fatigue with heavenly joy, to taste, touch, and smell our rich and beautiful world. She wants us to know that ecstatic communion with life force during sacred sex will make us feel healed and whole. Then our lives and all that we encounter will be blessed with Aphroditic laughter, sparkle and grace. But when we minimize her gift, when we secularize it, sneak it, shun it, and feel guilty about it, we have deeply dishonored her powers. A goddess scorned is a goddess out for revenge, and Venus does this, says Hillman through a “pink madness.” Says Venus, I shall invade every nook of the contemporary world that has refused me so long with a pink madness. I shall pornographize your cars and food, your ads and vacations, your books and films, your schools and your families. I'll get into your T-shirts and underwear, even into your diapers, into teenie boppers, their slogans and songs, and into the old ladies and gents in retirement colonies, on walkers in San Diego and Miami Beach. I'll show you by showing, until your minds are fuzzed pink with romantic desires, with longings to getaway—trysts, nests, sweets. That is, the civilization will be crazed to get into my preserve, my secret garden. I will excite your entire culture so that even those attempting to cure their neuroses, as well as their sober psychoanalysts, will have nothing better to talk about than desire, jouissance, seductions, incest, molestations and the gaze into the mirror."

well, thank you mr astrologer

.... waving all sense of reason bye bye as it flies on the window. i must say, i adored the whooshing sound it did when it zoomed past me....

...which i am not sure what they actually are, but i like their description and correlation to my natal chart. My ascendant has "ON THE BEACH, CHILDREN PLAY WHILE SHELLFISH GROPE AT THE EDGE OF THE WATER", my sun is "A THIRD WING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF A BUTTERFLY", my mars, neptune, saturn and pluto have also children/youth-related sabian symbols.

Affirmation: Think again; believe nothing is impossible.
i like the sound of that. then again, it was proved to me in numerous instances that truly nothing is impossible.

later later random thought: the va va voom is bottled up desire that favors fire.

this week's episode featured: vampire porn galore! eric-NOT-whatshisname behind! jessica meeting the sun! eric and bill meeting after the very hot sex-scene (and no violence, because, whatever, bill is so magnanimous and keeps a stiff upper lip)
random vampire people being burned by the sun because of evil witch antonia. and lafayette is a medium.

random thursday chilly august morning. instant coffee and queen, stuck in neverwhere, smiling... "let them eat cake" - just like marie antoinette

mantra for the following days of the cardinal cross and mercury opposite neptune: i will find positive and healthy releases for all this insane burst of energy, that don't include smoking like a chimney. running around in circles is actually a better option.

...just like that

although last night they say it was proper for dreaming, i dreamt of nothing or i did but i couldn't remember a damn thing.

 do i feel worried? yes. it's this whole saturn vs. neptune thing. reality vs. wishful thinking and feelings that defy logic (or they don't, but then you can put them nicely in a box labeled "stuff i have no idea how to deal with" and whatever, just move on).but when i can't tell the difference between the saturn stuff and the neptune stuff, i feel like being hit by a ton of bricks. *excuse me while i go and have a good old-fashioned panic attack

in any case, i'm there, here, whatever "here" and "there" mean anymore. just see what happens

later edit: you know what? even if this eats me alive eventually, i'm not giving up. still here and there

i, as an astrologer, should have known better... seriously, retro merc in LEO!! everybody is krokodillen! cranky krokodillen, no less!! where's eric northman when you need him?

and Venus in Leo, retro Merc opposite Neptune at 0 Pisces... seriously, we need a creative break. this is one of those days when everyone could (and should) live on chocolates, champagne, kissing under the moonlight with the current flame, sleep till noon and feel divinely flamboyant and inspired.

great song, great episode of true blood. eric finally gets his wish of sexing sookie! bill shows what a magnanimous soul he is (we're not buying that! we all know he wants sookie back)! jason does not become a were-panther! hoyt is.... absent? really, where was hoyt this episode? badass witches kick ass (by the way, as a side note - wiccans don't shed blood. so the whole scene with marnie cutting herself was wildly inaccurate. or maybe the rules have changed when i wasn't looking, but i still don't agree with that). tommy sexes sam's shapeshifter girlfriend - and that will lead to trouble.
i am not happy with luis, though. seriously? luis?

in the light of it all i say unto thee WHAT.EVER.
by the way the current lilith transit is squaring my moon in capricorn (actually my moon gets doubly squared by the black moon. i have that square in my natal chart as well. oh, happy days!). that's a clear signal for "don't make me mad". yes, also, there's this thing i found about lilith square moon "When lilith is connected to the moon you have the ability for cosmic nurturing. Cosmic nurturing means you are naturally warm, understanding and compassionate. It also means you deeply understand the universal truth that all people are one. In your private world, there are no real boundaries between people on a cosmic level. We are all connected in a sea of love. You are what others call psychic. And you feel this is perfectly normal" it's also perfectly normal for me to kick your ass if you don't reciprocate, so don't push it. i mean it. see, i've also graduated the saturn school of "boundaries are good and shall not be trespassed" and pluto dragged me through hell and i've survived.

now seriously, where's that blog with the letter to venus written by a libran? it's very frustrating not to be able to remember the name of the author (was it tim or sam? come on, it's a short name...) and i am quite sure the link is somewhere in this blog (or the one on yahoo, maybe). thing is he had a point there. sometimes, we librans, wish we'd be obsessed with ikea furniture like taurus or with getting first in line for the ikea super-sale like aries instead of thinking that a trip to ikea  will eventually turn out like the one in 500 days of summer ("honey, there's a chinese family in our bathroom"). ideally, that will include holding hands on THAT red sofa and maybe there will be some fab smiths music in the background.
okay, now, let's move on to the adjustment bureau - i fell spontaneously in love with that movie. it has romance and sci-fi. of course, the lead is a libra - matt damon. politician who falls in love with a ballerina, but random people show up and tell that their love can never be, which, of course, is something librans never want to hear! and off  he goes into a quest with doors and hats and it's epic and look, finally, they made a decent romantic movie!
by the way, why was  the true blood post not published? it contained important information. in a nutshell SOOKIE AND ERIC KISSED ON THE FRONT PORCH TO NORSE MUSIC and that's all you need to know.
off to do the horoscopes now

"love without boundaries, rules and promises" - says someone (or more actually writes it). this sounds like the perfect recipe for a disaster of epic proportions. saturn is shaking his head in discontent while pluto is revving up for a kick in the guts type of moment at this point. because, as much as everyone is in love with this idyllic neptunian concept of relationships, it just won't do. rules, promises and boundaries, as annoying as it sounds, are necessary.

so there's these 2 movies coming out next year based on the snow white story. the really fun thing is that in one of them, namely "snow white and the huntsman", the leading ladies are fire signs and in the other one "the brother's grimm: snow white" the leads are water signs. the posters are incredibly relevant:

the title above was not my idea but mystic medusa's and i will totally subscribe to it. like, vampires? they've got nothing on your average aqua on a day he channels a slightly more-offbeat-than-usual vibe. which, by normal standards translates in "it would be far easier to handle a vampire than him". you get the point. i mean, what's a vampire like? moody, sexy, out of this world, dangerous bloodsucker who understands this world differently because he has lived, like, for centuries and if he doesn't kill you he will leave you enlightened? check all of the above and add a touch of otherworldly and there you have it.
by the way, amy winehouse is dead.

..that would be david, the 6 years-old with the stamina of a duracell bunny. jumped up and down, opened the window 3 frillion times, opened and closed the door 1 frillion times just for the fun of it. eventually, worked out that the best idea was to make him tell me about his favourite cartoon - it featured flamo! master drop something! a golden dragon without an eye (and he lost that eye because he ate a peach). AND THEN HE DREW FLAMO AND THE MASTER  in a way that would make picasso jealous.

"if you kiss me, you'll be happy" - says tall blonde vulnerable sexyhot vampire. and i'm nearly screaming at the screen "kiss me! kiss me! here, i have the consent forms signed in triplicate!!!"
"come on, it's just a kiss" - died of awesome there. sookie does too, except that... bummer, bill shows up at the door and basically ruins that perfect moment. which i suspect he does because he almost dated his great-great-great-granddaughter. awkward.
anyway, eric drains sookie's fairy godmother and hets high on her fairy blood (he does apologize) then goes frolicking in the pond in the middle of the day. that was... cool. then he's mopey because he luffs sookeh, but she decided to get him the sexy werewolf bodyguard. and then we had a perfect example of the female gaze - hotass eric vs hotass alcide snarling at each other naked. i bet that sookie was all "yay!" at that point and a thousand eric/alcide fan-fiction stories just sprung into existence.
other than that: witches rule and kick vampire ass, jason drools (because of his stupid love choices), sam is following the same path as jason (y'all, his new shifter gf just told him "the father of my child is a were. a VERY JEALOUS were". and sam is all "bring.it.on. baby". which i don't know if it qualifies as a proof of twu luv or sheer stupidity) and other random people get into trouble.
i'd like to point out, again, that i totally want an eric with amnesia now.

"You're about to fall in love with the unexpected, and it will happen in a very dramatic way -- but you never did mind that kind of thing, did you? Expect an instant burst of adrenaline."

what the actual F. OH, OKAY, WHAT.EVER.  "you never did mind that kind of thing, did you?" - that's highly ironic. rub salt in the wound, horoscope writer, won't you??

much later, after many hours at work and serious pondering of it all: i am fully aware this sounds like tempting fate and that there will be consequences but i say unto you, horoscope writer and astro situation: bring it on. see if you can phase me out. *big satisfied smirk. and it better be good because, as you well know, unexpected and drama are run-of-the-mil stuff for me.

pretty poem to start the day right. from mystic medusa.


When they ask to see your gods
show them lines
drawn delicately with veins
on the underside of a bird’s wing
tell them you believe
in giant sycamores mottled
and stark against a winter sky
and in night’s so frozen
stars crack open spilling
streams of molten ice to earth
and tell them how you drank
the holy wine of honeysuckle
on a warm spring day
and of the softness
of your mother
who never taught you
death was life’s reward
but who believed in the earth
and the sun
and in a million, million light years
of being.

i know, i have a thing for postmodern poetry (maybe this isn't that postmodern, after all. but the author kept it short, so that's a plus. i mean, long poems are usually just gilding the lily in a very unnecessary way. and unless it's beowulf or some other poem of yore i don't care).
so. stuff. i need to see again fight club. 
also, i don't understand women writing sappy blogs about love that's lost or graphic sex. the first ones fill me with the rage of lilith on crack (if he scorns you in whatever way, it means he's a bad person. the appropriate response is not crying and whining). the latter are just blah and vulgar.

still haven't seen it, due to various reasons such as mom moving the pc across the room (why?), mom and sister-fish being generally around and their utter dislike of anything vampire-related plus the fact that they went to bed really late...
whatever.
anyways. uranus retro brought indeed the unexpected. okay, not so much unexpected. it's the expected sort of unexpected. which makes sense in the general economy of weirdness. oh, gawds.

internet, mobile phone, facebook, yahoo messenger, to be or not to be, existential angst and "our love is god, let's get a slushee", snarking, ton coeur qui saigne et s'accroche en haut de mes bas, mon coeur qui bat, what is reality anymore? oh.my.gods. where's eric northman when you need it?

i'm wearing pearls and a little black dress this morning. also, heels and coco mademoiselle.
if i think of it, this is so moon in capricorn. timeless classic. okay, the dress hints at pluto-venus - it is revealing and sassy, after all.
when you're down, do your moon, they say.

Uranus’ retrograde motion tends to stimulate deep psychological investigation and analysis. Its research, however, seeks answers that satisfies the mind and explains “Why?”. This is frequently observed in people who have Uranus retrograde natally as they make mountains out of molehills in their quest to know WHY! Obviously, this is an excellent time for mental studies that explore human behavior and psychology. It favors activities that require bursts of inventive and intuitive energy. It favors psychological counseling connected with freedom urges and disconnected patterns of relating.
When Uranus is retrograde natally, the rebellious urges tend to bottle up, bottle up and then burst forth seemingly out of nowhere. This stems from the fact that these people need to make changes internally before they can manifest them in the external world. During this “processing” phase, the individual rarely realizes just how rebellious he or she is. When Uranus transits retrograde, it will reawaken freedom urges causing the individual to suddenly rebel against any ruts or confinement in the life. I feel that it is better to process what needs to change while Uranus is retrograde and actualize the change when it turns direct. The retrograde simply makes you aware but it is generally not wise to impulsively act upon an awareness.

...also sookeeh smells like dinner.
because this is what happens in true blood.
apparently, jason and sam continue their weird relationship scenarios, since crystal had poor jason tied to a bed after being hit in the head and locked in a freezer. "but i want to make babies with you daaaaahling", she chirps, "but not before turning you into a were-panther", which involves jason being chewed up by both crystal and what's-his-face-badass-were-ex. i'm just saying, jason may have issues.

but so does sam and his strangely attractive new shape-shifter girlfriend. we all know how well it worked for him in the previous seasons, which is why i would be very careful about dating supernatural creatures, if i were him. also, hoyt and jessica are no longer sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g, instead, they're arguing and almost hate each other's guts like normal couples do.
now, Eric. eric gets in trouble because of bill who is now king because he wiped-out sophie ann (as shown in bloody flashback). since bill didn't manage to convince eric to sell the house back to sookie, he sends him on a mission to a local coven of necromancers. notice how smooth he is. so eric gets in all cocky and gets out ... loosing his memory. he is cute when amnesiac. and, as always, the episode stopped there and i wanted to strangle the producers.

...rain, rain, rain, blah blah, what is this? it's july! i want heatwaves and sun and more or less being baked alive!
yep, there's a part of me that has a fever of 100 and werewolf - it's the part that believes fervently, nay, fanatically, in being nice to the Other and general communication with the Other. i believe in holiday greetings, anniversary greetings and stuff like that. it's even better when the other reciprocates. (i'm oh so subtle at this point). it's part of being a Libra, i guess. also, it's part of being an actor in a neverending soap-opera and why i will live for the next geological era.

words of wisdom from cleolinda, which would look great on a t-shirt.
no, seriously.

if you don't want to be part of a weird triangle, stop now, as the whole eclipse thing tomorrow is promising just that. just do something else, for a change. something... positive and constructive. focus on building stuff, a better version of yourself, thingies.

"i own the house, i own you. sookie, you are mine" - a very second house statement. because i was reading this inspirational second house interpretation on sasstrology. apparently is all about " what you do to attract someone and what they can do for you". so eric does - buy the house to get sookeh because this is the way to own her. 2nd house equates people with possessions. it's only in the 8th house of possessed Scorpio that we are able to at least share some power with the other (also because it's the house where we don't do anything to attract the Other. S/he comes to us by his/her own volition). but the 2nd house, in my opinion, is the point where we don't share the power. or the goods. or the other. more or less, we "buy" the Other and this entitles us to require something in return "what they can do for you" - please us, pamper us, care for us at the very least

this means we got to season 4 of true blood. and it would have been a time of utter joy if only the phones didn't keep ringing constantly for the entire hour which meant i had to continuously stop the playback. show some respect here, people, it's true blood!!!!
to quote from wiki, this episode was about "Sookie is transported to the fairy world, where she is reunited with her long-dead grandfather, Earl. She quickly learns that the fairies have lied to her and that she, and possibly other humans, are in danger. Though she is attacked and almost stopped, Sookie manages to escape back to Bon Temps and discovers that she has been missing for an entire year and that Jason, who has become a police officer, has sold her house to a mystery buyer. Meanwhile, Bill and Eric work the media to win back human public opinion after the Russell Edgington incident and Jessica is slowly learning that living with a human may not be a good idea. Bill has deposed the Queen of Louisiana and become its King. Jesus convinces Lafayette to attend a meeting of a witch's coven; the coven's powerful leader Marnie, soon takes a keen interest in him. After town-hopping for twelve months, Tara has settled into a life in New Orleans as a cage-fighter named Toni, and is romantically involved with a fellow fighter, Naomi. Jason returns to Hotshot, of which he is now sole guardian since Crystal disappeared, but he is betrayed and locked in a freezer. Eric visits Sookie and reveals that he bought her house in order to own her; he declares that she is his. "

let me tell y'all about the grand finale."i own the house, i own you. sookie, you are mine!" - eric grins and waves keys. EPIC

sometimes i have a weird feeling that dr. freud would not be happy with me. but it's viggo as dr, freud, omg, sigi!!

saturday morning news: hobbitses!! omg, hobbitses (jumping up and down with joy because!! hobbitses will be here, by all the gods!!!)
and by the way, sean bean got very dead at the end of game of thrones' season one. just like in the book.
which makes me sad for several reasons the main one being that i have to wait another year for season 2, bummer.
but let's not fret since tomorrow there is the first episode of TRUE BLOOD SEASON 4 and this reason to celebrate wildly.
cleolinda finally decided to make tshirts of team sparklepire and team fursplode. i'm dead from awesome. 
random thought of the day: facebook is addictive and the fact that i have now internet on my phone doesn't help much with that. seriously. at a certain point i wonder how did we live before the advent of this type of communication.
second random thought of the day: there are awesome people in my life and i'm grateful for their existence. somehow, the world makes better sense because of them.

since i've been doing saturn quite diligently lately : breaking, shaking, acknowledging limits and boundaries and reinforcing them with the zeal of a missionary baptizing heathens (okay, that was ironic), trying to make sense of this whole existential mess, i'd really like a break now. with neptunian fluff and without the part where i have to put the xena on. it would be nice not to have uphill battles for a while.

see, there was this very interesting article about guys being from uranus and us coming from saturn which rings very true on many levels. example no. 387: discussion with random uranian-driven guy on limits which held the same belief as many others do that limits exists there just to be crossed and rules are meant to be broken. true uranus talk there.
 and then i became totally saturnian.
"there's a very good reason for which limits and boundaries exist", i said, "and crossing them will get you nothing but trouble". because this is what saturn does - karma and consequences. i mean, sure, you're free to break any rule buuuuuuuuuuuut you should be aware that consequences will hit you like a ton of bricks. and if there's one thing uranus hates is consequences and fore-planning. but, just because it hates them, it doesn't mean they will cease to exist. see, without rules and boundaries, there would be total chaos and a constant war of all against all. saturn's structures and limits allows us to live in a world where we can think of abstract concepts, create art, explore the space etc. because there is order and peace (in the very loose sense of the word)

mystic medusa has a great article on that. how the current situation is bad for libras. how the universe hates us at this point and we are trying hard not to get our xena on and bash heads with the fury of lilith on crack. although some people definitely deserve it.
best therapy? as always: venus stuff. love and money, money and love and let the others play their stupid little games which will not even get them a throne.

the glass house, more specifically. because, i've dreamed of many houses, but not one was made of glass.

because only in a dream a human can be perfect as in: nice, quirky, joseph-gordon-levitt look-a-like who spoke french and lived in a house of glass (literally, again, he lived in  house made of glass bricks). i think he was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans too. and the roof was leaky, and it was pouring rain outside. and he made me laugh and feel happy and not my usual paranoid self. and i had to leave and, on my way, he called me and i decided to go back to him, because he was the guy of my dreams and it's not like you meet that everyday. and then there was an incident with my sister's ex,  who showed up and made a fuss and made me woke up. that was really frustrating because i really really really wanted to go back and waking up meant that i lost him. oh, bugger.
....like, perfect.

AND IT FILLS MY HEART WITH UNHOLY GLEE. (partially because no matter how complicated my life gets, i won't get pregnant with a half-vampire baby which will be born via a wolf-pire C-section so go me)
but, again, the scene that made my day was the furniture-smashing, pillow-biting sex they have (please, don't cut the pillow-biting, puuh-leaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee). it's like "get a grip, sparkleson!" *crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrack goes the bedpost and i die of lolz.
then of course, there was the time where ed punched jacob through the wall. because, you know, sex and violence, shiny lulz.
and to think there's just 1 more hour till tonight's episode of game of thrones. which will be epic

Come, come, whoever you are,
Wanderer, idolater, worshiper of fire,
Come even though you have broken your vows a thousand times,
Come, and come yet again.
Ours is not a caravan of despair

yes, rumi was a libra in my opinion. just on word about that: LOVE. (LOVE and RELATIONSHIP are sacred words to Librans, make no mistake about that). then there's dancing, music and wine as a way to attend spiritual enlightenment because, come on, we don't do masochistic suffering as a way to show our devotion to gods, people, whatever. Then the main concept of his works is  tawhīd – union with his beloved (the primal root) from which/whom he has been cut off and become aloof – and his longing and desire to restore it. look, it's not like we can help it - we like/thrive in relationships, we're genuinely interested in the Other because the Other is like a mirror where we see ourselves, through which we learn and evolve as human beings.i would also add some scientific argument to that : feral children - those who grow without/ with limited human contact have serious deficiencies later in life. less extreme - lonely people, unloved people suffer a lot physically, mentally and emotionally. therefore we are what we are because of the Other and the relationship we have with him/her and no man is an island and those who shun love and relationships are miserable sods.

"If, for penance, you crush grapes, you may as well drink the wine." - that's pure Libra philosophy right there. i couldn't agree more.

"Love chose me over all others; it came and drunkenly bit my cheek." - it always does that. because it's LOVE and also, it's never our fault for things happening. then, of course, there's that touch of theatricality. come on, one can't speak of LOVE without adding some metaphors here and  there and embellishments. 

 

so - robert died from pig attack, which was, in my honest opinion, a proper ending for a drunkard king aaand yeah, truly, we're on the brink of war there. i mean, it's so obvious boromir ned stark will get his ass kicked again because he's competing against bitch extraordinaire cersei and things are really heating up but then again we'll have to wait another week which is no fun, really.
also, danaerys is making steps towards being a serious contender so go her.
"in the game of thrones, you either win or die" - i couldn't agree more as long as there is a throne to game for in the first place. look, minor squabbles for nothing are pitiful and if you're going to engage in a war, at least do it for a prize worth fighting for. worth dying for.
in other news, 3 more weeks till a new season of true blood :D

stuff i have : minor sunburns on the back, nearly-homicidal thoughts combined with the tempting idea of starting my own anarcho-syndicalist commune, sleepy dog, a strong desire of an extended sabbatical year (just to find myself, you know. i would so find my inner balance with on a luxurious tropical island, you've got no idea!)

stuff i don't have: money and security of any kind (but hey, i'm like, used to live in a weird loop of uncertainty). what are the odds of something actually working without weird if clauses?

as in the movie. yes, the Edda was shred to pieces. but the movie itself was fun! come on, Thor is just as i imagined him to be: big, blond, bellicose, fearless and a little ...simple. textbook Aries, i say. i mean, he does have the "let's hit the wall with the forehead first instead of opening the door" - approach to life in general. i mean, it's obvious from scene one - big brash entrance "Dad, can i be King now?" "why are the frost giants ruining my coronation partyyyyyyyyyyyy?????" "let's kick some giant ass!!!" Odin: headdesk, eyeroll "Son, you're a complete idiot"
about Loki - which is an Aquarian in my mind, i sort of sense the actor was good for is but the part wasn't good enough. come on, he's a trickster - i wanted more deviousness, a touch of charming sociopath and a sprinkle of craziness and determination. will keep an eye on Tom Hiddleston, for he is promising. *oh, wow, i just searched for him on wiki and he is an Aqua.i know one by the insane glint in the eyes.
then there's Odin and i'm so bitterly disappointed in him not being a mercurial character he should have been. but then again, there will be American Gods and by Odin, if they screw it up even then, there will be blood. i want an Odin who is mysterious, magical, mischievous, intriguing, the finger-in-every-pie-guy, who's first clever and then a warrior.

because i read another blog on that - so. favorite fruit - bananas, pineapple, raspberry, mango (mmmm mangoes!), dates and sweet grapes. raspberries and blue cheese with a glass of rose wine! sushi stuffed with mango! again, raspberries, blue cheese and wine - the current venus in taurus transit makes me lust after that and other GOOD THINGS IN LIFE SUCH AS: MONEY, LOVE AND THE PRETTY. i'm a rebel like that :D

stuff i did today:
smoke
drank tea/coffee
watch rt/france 24/bbc world - the g8 summit will be next week in france. rt thinks that obama is usurping power by basically attacking the libyans without the others' consent. look, they have a point there. plus, an update on belarus elections, spaniards are going crazy in the streets, there were MOAR suicidal attacks in the middle east.
spent some time on the internet
ate stuff that is not pretzels because other people made it
probably go to bed really early.

trufax: russia today and france 24 chose well their anchors for saturday morning news. totally dig them. although i must admit i like a little better the guy from france 24, since he seemed more natural. he moved around a little more, his blinked a little more and was all in all likeable and in the same time looked like he knew what he was talking about, which brought him a big bonus. also: dark suits, light colored shirt and striped ties are all the rage now, since both anchors were wearing them. must also investigate bbc and cnn on that.
so, subjects for today : dsk is out on a million dollars bail and obama thinks there should be a palestinian state.
france 24 chose dsk as main article, russia today chose obama. also, there's a formal ceremony in cote d'ivoire that our friend sarko (dear gods, what were the french thinking when choosing an aqua for president?) is attending. oh, yeah, and there's another g8 meeting. i always suspected these gatherings are just an excuse to travel around and socialize over expensive treats. which is to say i want to attend one.

i've just finished the first pair of pants that are actually nice! oh, there's the small issue of the button, but whatever, blah, it's finally here. appropriately light blue, confy and feminine with a sweet rounded hem, made of light cotton cloth. thanking venus for divine inspiration - look this transit is doing wonders for my couture skills.

later edit: i can't believe it, i've actually managed to put the button right!! actually the buttonhole which, in my experience, is the part where i usually screw up spectacularly for unknown reasons such as forgetting to set the sewing machine right. and i found in the house the kind of button i was visualizing for these pants and i wasn't able to find in the shop - clear, simple, 4-holes button AND it fit the buttonhole i made for the not so perfect button i found at the store.
i feel like an accomplished couturier right now. * terribly satisfied smirk. all i really need is for mom to finish the cute little lacey knit top i asked her for and i'm as pretty as a peach.

what can i say, i value the things i can make myself.

roses are red
violets are blue
karma's a bitch
and so are you

... i just love the roses are red poems. they allow for so much creativity and meanings.

like i previously said, i'm no foodie. i would happily live on whatever it is available to eat, because i equate food with energy and at this point where i am slightly freaking out, i am basically living on cigarettes, water, coffee and my delusions of things going the right way. which they won't because i attract complications like a flame attracts moths. but i am a profoundly delusional person who believes in freeing the hamsters, meeting true love and having no doubts of him being the true love (i'm a relationship-junkie. the sooth-sayer actually pointed that pretty clearly, the fact that i want a relationship, not love as defined in doing whatever the damn the other person wants), and no problems regarding money.
but julie and julia is actually a wonderful movie. really. it is.

well, actually, we should make it a duality since us libby fleurs are gracious, balanced and nice to everyone. the fact that we sometimes lash out a storm and act with a single-mindedness bordering on obsession it's just because we are provoked and peace must be restored at any cost. even an all out rumble. this is where aquarians (especially the male variety) come in handy. you know, in my experience, they have an unholy gift for finding your bitch button and pressing it without much thinking about consequences.most of the times, the consequences are disastrous and involve screaming matches or worse.
on the other hand, geminis. you know what's annoying about them? you can't properly argue with a gemini. you need to muster all your resolution to have the argument in the first place.it's not that they can't drive you crazy, because they can. it's the fact that they will make you laugh and communicate and you get to that point where you don't know where you want to kiss them, slap them, or both which is very confusing.

...okay more like skimmed it. v interesting, though a little too academical for my tastes. so, of course, here follows my opinion on the subject.
first of all, we seriously need to reclaim the goddess within us. the one who is not daughter/wife/devoted mother/wannabe man but is woman and proud of it. proud of all her divinity and womanhood. the one who flaunts her awesomeness - mental, emotional and physical. the media constantly tells us we are not good enough, that looks are all that matters and that our menstrual blood is blue, among other things. we are bombarded with impossible standards every day - be a brill career woman, an accomplished lover, a perfect mother and wife, prim, proper, always on a diet, never complaining and keeping a stiff upper lip. and we should to all sort of tricks to keep a man.
see, i intend to be nothing of those things. my blood is red (and it hurts like hell, just for the record), i have no intention of learning how to cook (and if i start a family, well, i'll clean and he cooks - look, fair labor division), and if a relationship goes sour, well, honey, i'll act like lilith on crack and i have no intention of apologizing. yes, relationships are very important. there's no such thing as "no strings attached", who are you kidding.  yes, i mind if you don't listen to what i have to say, if you try to boss me around and if you have even the faintest impression that you own me. barbarian macho displays will be met with fierce resistance because my ego is just as important as yours. i'm very relating-oriented, i adore pastel colors, a general genteel behaviour, and girly stuff. this doesn't make me any less intelligent or capable. i don't want to be the executive of a company, i will complain and sometimes roar, i'm willing to do tricks as long as the other is willing to do tricks for me in return. having emotions is good, though frustrating sometimes, being friendly to people is good, being me is good.

 so i'm currently experimenting a new skin treatment entirely natural and of my own design. clay powder + propolis + mineral water. mix in a ceramic jar. apply liberally on the face. wait till you look like a geisha. remove with warm water. repeat procedure each morning,
so far, in the 4 or 5 days i've been trying it, i've noticed a few improvements - less inflammation of the skin and a mild reduction of the blotches. would be spectacular if effective since it's quite low-cost and probably has definitely fewer side-effects than other medical treatments such a gorging on antibiotics (did that for a couple of years), puncturing it with needles (do you have any idea how painful that is??) or hormone-based drugs (i didn't do that!!! heck, i wanted to strangle the doctor for even suggesting it). y'all, i have a theory re: doctors and my skin and how wrong they are. considering that my face got really clean and pretty after using faberlic products (which were, by the way, a catalog brand, like avon, only perfect for my skin, so nothing fancy. please, please, please, faberlic, come back to the market!! i promise i will buy the entire catalog, if you do!!!WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?????? *hysterical sobs) and looked OKAY when i wasn't using make-up everyday, i seriously doubt there is something wrong with my hormones. also, i think those doctors' real issue was the fact that i'm skinny, since one of them even suggested taking steroids - and i threw the prescription out of the window.
look, i can't trust people who prescribe hormones without thoroughly testing you first, ESPECIALLY if you think there's an imbalance in my body. i'm in no mood for being anyone's lab rat except my own.

prince william got married to kate princess catherine, who in true capricornian fashion will kick his royal ass for the years to come.

bin laden got dead. or so they say. of course, consipracy theorists insist he isn't. nor is elvis, adolf or michael jackson.

we have another episode of games of thrones tonight which i can't wait to see!!


they have finally released some pictures of breaking dawn. look, it's incredibly twinkie!!! ed and bella in a scenic waterfall NOT having sex! of course they aren't, who are you kidding? astrologically, i'm still not buying it. since ed is a gem, this pic is waaaaaaaaaay inaccurate. he should be all "woman, are you crazy, what are we doing in this waterfall, watch your steps, there are rocks, omg, it's freezing, I AM BOOOOOOOOORED".

this picture, on the other hand is more suitable

also, i woke up because of an earthquake. it was a tiny one, but since this sort of stuff scares me senseless, here i am, drinking my coffee at 6 am on sunday morning. 5.5 on a Richter scale? wow, i'm happy i wasn't in bucharest and that i live on the ground floor. also, stupid dog was sleeping like there's no tomorrow. i have a keener sense about earthquakes that paco, omgs!
also, i suspect i may have gotten a cold after the trip on the shores of the frozen sea - not quite frozen, but damn, it was cold! neck is still aching from spending all those hours curled in a non-natural position because of the cold.

... and definitely a contender for my favorite character in the games of thrones. yes, she's ruthless, yes she's cunning, power-hungry and hell-bent on revenge but who wouldn't be after being married for 17 years to wayward robert baratheon? i totally understand her desire to see him die in pain, and possibly dance on his grave afterwards. look, in that world is not like she had a lot of choice.

It would be so easy
To sing a song about you (definitely)
It would be so easy to sing a
Sobby, pink (make that pitch black. on a second thought, let's go easy on the black. make it just pitch(es) and forks) song about you
I would spend three or four lines
On describing your eyes (they're blue, hazel, or brown. i already know that.  the question is: do you know what color are my eyes? answer in 5 seconds)
And then the next three or four lines
On the dimples of your smile (that is, when you're smiling which is not very often. most of the time you just curse and that's annoying)
And then I would tell the world
About the way you hold my hand (when nobody sees you, because your macho ego would be hurt by such "girlish" displays of affection)
And they would
They would understand (truth is they don't ever understand what i saw in you. i don't either)
It is so easy
To sing this song about you (oh, i could write a 500 pages novel. terribly frightening. kafka has nothing on you, in terms of idiosyncrasies )
What you are is inside of me (it's called the medulla & cerebellum, or the most primitive part of the brain. i sometimes suspect you only have those)
And could easily be
Could easily be
Could be expressed through
This sobby, pink song about you - i did mention the pitches and forks, but i know i have to repeat myself several times over.
....and basically this is why i can't write love songs.


...

i will completely disagree with the status shuffle on facebook "a relationship doesn't need any promises, terms and conditions... it just needs two wonderful persons - one who can trust and who can understand". hello, this is one of the reasons things go wrong in the world today and whales are nearly extinct and aliens won't come close to us. because relationships need exactly that - promises, terms, conditions, clearly stated, printed and sealed in blood if possible. it's probably the healthiest option. because otherwise we will swim in an ocean of confusion like we do now and someone will get hurt along the way - because mostly the person who trusts is the same one who understands so this leads to massive imbalance. you also need to include what happens if the person falls off the wagon in some sort.

why is there no teaser/trailer of breaking dawn? seriously, people, we need moar sparkly luff in this world and SERIOUSLY NOW, they finally get laid. which results in spectacular disaster, which makes me look good in comparison (look, it's my blog and i'm totally entitled to think it's all about me here). i mean, hey, at least i didn't got knocked up with half-vampire child! emotional entanglements and other otherworldly (read: hellish) scenarios look like a piece of cake. 
on an unrelated note: people who make grammar and spelling mistakes in their own language should be stoned to death or sent to elementary school all over again. i'm not talking about the mistakes you make when you write fast. i'm talking about consistently abusing your language in murderous ways because you're an idiot who didn't bother learning his own mother tongue.
i found another clue for my convoluted love life: my 7th house of relationships is in scorpio. obsessed, possessed, power-struggles and melodramas that would put the latin-american novelas to shame. just BRING. IT. ON.

Love is about to
Become weirder than you think
it could be. Lust too. (from mystic medusa)

oh, re: the sag thing. while i had only one sag sun experience (which was great while it lasted. turned definitely nightmarish later) i just noticed i tend to form connections to people with a strong sag influence. the recipe (for love or disaster or generally a weird mix of the two) is actually simple, come to think of it: air sun, fire moon, libra rising (just for kicks), weak mars (as in kataka or taurus or pisces. definitely have a thing for mars in pisces people which is weirder than words)  and strong sag somewhere hidden.

and now, a song

so yeah, winter is coming and according to sister-fish it's no wonder i'm having nightmares since i watch "such gory stuff with all sorts of weird crap and vampires". the show features no vampires, but it does have white walkers and the body count got to at least 6 in 1 hour. but long story short:
sean bean is awesome as ned stark. he's a true blue pater familias, gardian of the north, honorable, loyal and a mighty warrior and dispenser of justice with the sword, because the aries in him wouldn't have the patience for long trials and lawyers. he's also friend of the king robert baratheon who is no aragorn, so ned looks very good in comparison.also, the king asks him to basically rule the entire kingdom while "he drinks, eats and whores his way to an early death" which in ned's mind is something aragorn should have also done instead of prancing around being awesome and living to be 400.
to be continued...

and by the way, since we're at the "cuties i want to take home and call darling and possibly have hotass babies with" chapter, here's exhibit no. 2

notice the smirk and raised eyebrows. very yum in a "3 am after-party discussion about cuantic mechanics/explaining aristotle's vision on life, universe and everything discussion sprinkled with whiskey". i'm on the other couch in a black dress dangling a red stiletto shoe off  my toes.
P.S. he speaks french and believes in soul mates.

he's got the quirky vibe, the smart, he looks fab in a suit, and a tired-eyes smile. and yeah - the kiss in inception was totally knee-melting material.

because this is one of my favorite pastimes on weekends - watching movies. that and hanging out with the girls. also singing out loud "monday morning" helps.


now the movie. "prince of persia" - it was fun! sure, it was campy and filled with cliches but hey, what can i say. jake gyllenhaal brings the boom-chick-a-waa-waa to the movie. i mean, those big eyes, that smile! (i'm a sucker for a pretty smile. i like people who smile and look friendly. A LOT), the fact that he looks like he's having a great time and doesn't take the whole hero business so seriously. i'm still googling for an appropriate photo. okay, found it. not actually from the movie but better than the posters where he's posing all omg grimdark.

come on, i was smitten by his cute! i really want to take him home and hug him and call him "darling" and make him smile that irresistible smile and ruffle his hair. then go out for wine because he looks like the kind of guy i would have a great time with. then never let him go because he'll be awesome and wonderful and we'll have cute children who will inherit his smile and i will not feel a desperate urge to smash his head with the nearest blunt object.
on another note. jake is a sag. sag could be a good idea. or not. must investigate further