"the general vibe is moving on from catharthis/forced growth/getting a grip etc to romance, inspirational genius, neo-capitalism and self-promo publicity style ventures. It’s like strong Jupiter action, haute Pisces and Venusian Voodoo."

 jupiter is luck, haute pisces is inspirational and has its own set of deities protecting him/her (an entire pantheon, it's more like it) and smoothing the road ahead and venusian voodoo is love and money. also charm - loads of it, don't be afraid to use to attract the good things in your life :D

especially if you take them "just in case" and you don't feel like running around in circles for various reasons which are too complex to explain right now. bottom line - fighting severe sleepiness for at least 3 hours now, gods, please, have mercy and don't let me fall asleep on the keyboard!!!! okay, look, this is highly ironic, because if i actually try to catch a nap at noon on saturdays when i have nothing to do i can't, but right now i could fall asleep sitting in a chair. an uncomfortable chair. the extra irony will come in later when i'll just be fully awake and kicking.
in the meanwhile - sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

..not only with actual physical pain (which sucks. and who is subsiding) but also with overactive imagination and bouts of mild paranoia. i blame that on the sun-pluto-lilith conjunction and the planets being all clustered together which usually translate into the "get up and go and do something about stuff" attitude. which would be all shiny lulz in theory. but when i can't actually "get up, go and do something about stuff" i'm left with running around in circles and my overactive imagination.

...ok, that's not that smart. note to self: remember about the challenge? you never thought it might actually be a good thing... who would have thought that adjusting to the whole idea of good and normal things happening would be actually a challenge. there you have it, self. deal with it and stop whining.

...also repeat "it's going to be okay" again.

Five Card Practical Tarot

Card One is Past Influence, Card Two is Present Influence, Card Three is Major Influence, Card Four is Advice and Card 5 is The Outcome. If you want more clarity you can then add TWO more cards to help “explain” the Outcome card but that is IT.

i like the sound of it

"contagion" - no, i mean it.

Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet (there you go, 4 of the stars, all libra) Laurence Fishburne (leo), Jude Law (capricorn), plus supporting players Bryan Cranston (pisces), John Hawkes (virgo), Elliott Gould (virgo), Demetri Martin (gemini - because you can't make a movie without one) and Jennifer Ehle (another capricorn). i mean, why didn't they throw in susan sarandon and hugh jackman (who, by the way, already played a scientist/doctor on a quest to save his loved one?)

"An action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak."
expect characters to act appropriately heroic, almost quixotic in their quest to save the world from doom, team work, personal drama. you know, now i have to see it.

quick glance at astro chart shows that ...well, transiting lilith in aries is opposing my natal lilith so expect more intensity. and in the meanwhile it opposes saturn. like - rebellious woman-figure vs. stern father-figure. it sort of makes sense, thinking in retrospective. the self-titled "all-father", who's no odin by the way (jung would be so proud of me right now, using archetypes and all. also, i like odin, even if he's morally ambiguous. odin didn't get away with so many things as other all-father figures. he actually got dead for 9 days in order to learn rune magic and paid with his eye to gain knowledge) tries to impose the whole "my rules are to be blindly obeyed because i said so" attitude to a woman who operates on a different level and despite whatever ideas he might have in his head, will not accept someone else's authority without thoroughly questioning the motives first. and trying to put her down actually shows that he's very insecure about his so-called "power".   
if there's one thing i learned from lilith is to get in touch with the shadow side and own it. acknowledging that there is fear, insecurity, intensity, passion, vulnerability, anger, pain and it's ok to feel that provided a lot of relief. maybe this is where the confidence comes from. i shall go into uncharted territory knowing that it's the right thing to do. and i will not let go of the other's hand either. yes, this is also lilith thing. in my mind, it wasn't actually the "laying beneath" that made her mad. it was the "lay beneath him because i said so" that triggered her anger.

and so there we had red riding sookie who turned the tables on the big bad wolves eric and bill. and she was posing. and it was a very shiny lulz moment "i want both of you to love me or none at all" - and the wolves vampires comply which shows the awesome powers of the RED. blood, seduction, forbidden fruit, what have you, sigi would have a ball analyzing it. i am having a ball analyzing it - loss of innocence, appropriating the red symbolism (true blood anyone???), the hunted becoming the hunter.
by the way, bill, or more exactly stephen moyer is a libra. so of course his character is magnanimous - "libra male actors always get to play the hero or at least the charming bastard" myth is once again confirmed. mostly because librans live in a world of lofty ideals and try hard to make reality something that's not nasty, brutish and short.
by the way, when nan criticizes bill for not being decisive about killing eric? yep, libra again. libra heroes don't kill people unless they really really have to and it'd better be in fair combat.

....when you actually do your job and you have to wait months to get the money for your work. when people don't understand that you were bound by a contract which goes both ways - i do my job, you pay me for my job ON TIME, not when you damn please to do it. without offering any explanation and thinking, and what's more, that it's like your divine right to do whatever the actual f... you want. and in the meanwhile, i have to deal with the consequences - which are not pretty.

later edit > saturn girl advice (i told you astrology is inspirational) "Remember; you don’t get to do all the fabulous Neptune, Pluto and Uranian transformations until you’re able to channel Saturn Girl. She’s all about getting thy shit together, no complaints, no delusions, no lingering in the past other than to learn important lessons and/or for psych growth."

retro merc vs neptune - oooooo, the charm. the dreaming! the butterflies!!
i'm not even sure what sane means anymore. it just feels right.
anyway, movie...





i know, it's so....... just so. retro merc vs neptune...

...there are people who put it better than i do. from here

"Aphrodite is quite angry. This goddess of sexuality expects us to recognize that sex is a sacred and soulful force. She wants us to ignite with her divine spark, to become instruments of pleasure. She wants us to obliterate boredom and fatigue with heavenly joy, to taste, touch, and smell our rich and beautiful world. She wants us to know that ecstatic communion with life force during sacred sex will make us feel healed and whole. Then our lives and all that we encounter will be blessed with Aphroditic laughter, sparkle and grace. But when we minimize her gift, when we secularize it, sneak it, shun it, and feel guilty about it, we have deeply dishonored her powers. A goddess scorned is a goddess out for revenge, and Venus does this, says Hillman through a “pink madness.” Says Venus, I shall invade every nook of the contemporary world that has refused me so long with a pink madness. I shall pornographize your cars and food, your ads and vacations, your books and films, your schools and your families. I'll get into your T-shirts and underwear, even into your diapers, into teenie boppers, their slogans and songs, and into the old ladies and gents in retirement colonies, on walkers in San Diego and Miami Beach. I'll show you by showing, until your minds are fuzzed pink with romantic desires, with longings to getaway—trysts, nests, sweets. That is, the civilization will be crazed to get into my preserve, my secret garden. I will excite your entire culture so that even those attempting to cure their neuroses, as well as their sober psychoanalysts, will have nothing better to talk about than desire, jouissance, seductions, incest, molestations and the gaze into the mirror."

well, thank you mr astrologer

.... waving all sense of reason bye bye as it flies on the window. i must say, i adored the whooshing sound it did when it zoomed past me....

...which i am not sure what they actually are, but i like their description and correlation to my natal chart. My ascendant has "ON THE BEACH, CHILDREN PLAY WHILE SHELLFISH GROPE AT THE EDGE OF THE WATER", my sun is "A THIRD WING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF A BUTTERFLY", my mars, neptune, saturn and pluto have also children/youth-related sabian symbols.

Affirmation: Think again; believe nothing is impossible.
i like the sound of that. then again, it was proved to me in numerous instances that truly nothing is impossible.

later later random thought: the va va voom is bottled up desire that favors fire.

this week's episode featured: vampire porn galore! eric-NOT-whatshisname behind! jessica meeting the sun! eric and bill meeting after the very hot sex-scene (and no violence, because, whatever, bill is so magnanimous and keeps a stiff upper lip)
random vampire people being burned by the sun because of evil witch antonia. and lafayette is a medium.

random thursday chilly august morning. instant coffee and queen, stuck in neverwhere, smiling... "let them eat cake" - just like marie antoinette

mantra for the following days of the cardinal cross and mercury opposite neptune: i will find positive and healthy releases for all this insane burst of energy, that don't include smoking like a chimney. running around in circles is actually a better option.

...just like that

although last night they say it was proper for dreaming, i dreamt of nothing or i did but i couldn't remember a damn thing.

 do i feel worried? yes. it's this whole saturn vs. neptune thing. reality vs. wishful thinking and feelings that defy logic (or they don't, but then you can put them nicely in a box labeled "stuff i have no idea how to deal with" and whatever, just move on).but when i can't tell the difference between the saturn stuff and the neptune stuff, i feel like being hit by a ton of bricks. *excuse me while i go and have a good old-fashioned panic attack

in any case, i'm there, here, whatever "here" and "there" mean anymore. just see what happens

later edit: you know what? even if this eats me alive eventually, i'm not giving up. still here and there

i, as an astrologer, should have known better... seriously, retro merc in LEO!! everybody is krokodillen! cranky krokodillen, no less!! where's eric northman when you need him?

and Venus in Leo, retro Merc opposite Neptune at 0 Pisces... seriously, we need a creative break. this is one of those days when everyone could (and should) live on chocolates, champagne, kissing under the moonlight with the current flame, sleep till noon and feel divinely flamboyant and inspired.

great song, great episode of true blood. eric finally gets his wish of sexing sookie! bill shows what a magnanimous soul he is (we're not buying that! we all know he wants sookie back)! jason does not become a were-panther! hoyt is.... absent? really, where was hoyt this episode? badass witches kick ass (by the way, as a side note - wiccans don't shed blood. so the whole scene with marnie cutting herself was wildly inaccurate. or maybe the rules have changed when i wasn't looking, but i still don't agree with that). tommy sexes sam's shapeshifter girlfriend - and that will lead to trouble.
i am not happy with luis, though. seriously? luis?

in the light of it all i say unto thee WHAT.EVER.
by the way the current lilith transit is squaring my moon in capricorn (actually my moon gets doubly squared by the black moon. i have that square in my natal chart as well. oh, happy days!). that's a clear signal for "don't make me mad". yes, also, there's this thing i found about lilith square moon "When lilith is connected to the moon you have the ability for cosmic nurturing. Cosmic nurturing means you are naturally warm, understanding and compassionate. It also means you deeply understand the universal truth that all people are one. In your private world, there are no real boundaries between people on a cosmic level. We are all connected in a sea of love. You are what others call psychic. And you feel this is perfectly normal" it's also perfectly normal for me to kick your ass if you don't reciprocate, so don't push it. i mean it. see, i've also graduated the saturn school of "boundaries are good and shall not be trespassed" and pluto dragged me through hell and i've survived.