saturn direct

GUILLERMO DEL TORO LEAVES THE HOBBIT. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????? i had such high hopes for that!!!
also, i saw angels and demons last night and it kinda sucked, except ewan who is awesome, because he is my lucky star, remember? earlier i saw ondine which was all so cute and endearing and i want to get married on a boat in an irish port now. not necessarily to colin, though, although he looked adequately geminian-charming.
oh, yes, and saturn turns direct, which means the mutables will be doing victory laps. also, us librans will be revving up in "let's talk about relationship" mode. what most people do not understand is that some librans (okay, probably most of us) would be thrilled every relationship would be strictly defined by a contract. you know, you meet someone interesting for the first time, and you have dinner and discuss the terms and clauses of your relationship. by dessert, you sign it and everyone is free of the whole useless "blah blah, will he call me, blah blah will she be a cruel nasty bitch blah". because, let's face it. we just KNOW if the person is right/wrong to have a relationship with in about an hour. so the whole "let's see eachother again sometimes if i feel like it. MAYBE" scenario is plain fuckwittery and it's frankly cruel. what if the other genuinely likes you?
you know, librans are terribly romantic because we're ruled by venus. what other people do not understand is that we're also ruled by "get-thy-shit-together" saturn. saturn likes order, rules, defined boundaries and contracts. librans invented pre-nups, marriage and divorce because if there's one thing we hate above all is messy unclear situations in relationships.

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my lilith moments

dennis hopper died. oh well... he was like 74 and had cancer so... it's sort of sad but that's the way the world works. there was another romanian actor who died this week and he was 81 and had a heart condition.
since we're on the 8th house vibe here as in "sex, death and money", i'll notice the money part. i want it, because it's mine. you people are complete idiots if you think you are making me any favor by paying my salary. i sincerely hope karma bites you on the ass big time because you can't treat people like that. same thing for those idiots ruling this country. they're plain out thieves and liars. what's worse, they're really lame thieves and liars and they deserve some karmic punishment for that. as in rocks falling from the sky, major plain crash while all the government and members of parliament are on board. the crash should be somewhere in the middle of the ocean or in the desert, just to make sure none of them survives. a public funeral is less expensive than them being alive and making an entire country suffer. i am so glad i didn't vote for anyone, at least i don't have to live with that shame.
the one above was totally a lilith moment. so far, that sort of attitude was reserved for exes, yet another 8th house subject, the sexing. it was interesting, when some days ago someone asked me if i ever get mad and what makes me mad. my reply was "significant other". astrologically, i think that what really pushes my buttons are lilith issues as in trying to take my power away from me in a relationship. of course this triggers a magnitude 10 reaction.
i'm still working on this subject. it's quite interesting, especially as BML conjuncts very tightly pluto and the sun and the vertex so it's a major aspect.

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finally, some good news from astrology

Thursday’s Full Moon highlights some of the ways in which your personal expression may undergo dramatic change. In fact, change is the operative word, for excitable Uranus is moving into your relationship sector for the next few years. If you’ve been looking for a shot of adrenaline, here it comes (i didn't. i simply attract trouble). You’ve been somewhat anaesthetized in love for what seems like a hundred years – and now it’s finally time for Sleeping Beauty to wake up. Whatever it is that jolts you into a new way of experiencing relationships will be a lot more exciting than a kiss from a handsome prince. maybe a uranian-crazy handsome prince who kisses me till he leaves me breathless? how about that?

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moon square venus and pluto

If all else fails, trust that something good is happening inside you, even if you can’t yet detect what that may be. that sounded definitely deep, thank you sasstrology.
however, "Try to summon up every ounce of maturity you can if you don’t want to be at the mercy of swinging emotions" is not so appealing. on the other hand, darling, i am according to astrology just as cold and emotionless as the real moon. whee!
although astrologers tend to see capricorn as a bad placement for the moon, i'll have to disagree with that. true, we tend to swing between being either emotional cripples or freeze-icecream-on-my-ass cold when young. but it tends to grow wiser with time. and it brings a sort of backwards aging. also, at least we're not moon in cancer. no matter what they say moon in cancer types are pretty psycho. also, really bad liars.

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the blue snake dream

the horoscope was right, i guess, with its "embrace the weird" statement. that blue snake dream was at least weird and scary. and apparently full of symbolism. 
the house represents the soul, the self, the body, from what i know. oh and there were plenty of doors, now that i think of it. and yeah, there were all those doors they talk about below:
"To dream that you are entering through a door, signifies new opportunities that will be presented before you. You are entering into a new stage in your life and moving from one level of consciousness to another. In particular, a door that opens to the outside, signifies your need to be more accessible to others, whereas a door that opens into the inside, denotes your desire for inner exploration and self-discovery.
To see opened doors in your dream, symbolize your receptiveness and willingness to accept new ideas/concepts. In particular, to see a light behind it suggests that you are moving toward greater enlightenment/spirituality.
To dream that the doors are closed or locked, signify opportunities that are denied and not available to you or that you have missed out on. Something or someone is blocking your progress. It also symbolizes the ending of a phase or project. In particular, if you are outside the locked door, then it suggests that you are having some anti-social tendencies. If you are inside the locked door, then it represents harsh lessons that need to be learned.
To dream that you are locking doors, suggests that you are closing yourself off from others. You are hesitant in letting others in and revealing your feelings. It is indicative of some fear and low self-worth. "
also, there were hallways, long and intricate ones. "To see a hallway in your dream, symbolizes self exploration and the beginning of a  path that you are taking in life. You are going through a transitional phase in your life and journeying into the unknown. It signals spiritual enlightenment, emotional growth physical prowess, new opportunities and mental passages in your life" 
the snake now, that's very interesting. "Well, generally snakes are predominantly a symbol of fear and also a sexual symbol.  They say every woman dreams of snakes at least once in her life and the interpretation is often fear of a rival or fear of the male gender.  I suggest this may be speaking to you of the fears around sexual expression and fullness that you may have.  The serpent stands for physical drives and if something is not quite right in that area of life, the snake dreams can come. Now often by the time the dreams come, it is also signifying healing of this area or the desire to heal and balance this area of life." (fine, horoscope, you and the dream agree on that part) i should also add that the blue snake was really fascinating and pretty, all blue glowing with strange black marks on its body. and no, it was not aggressive in any way. just sort of stood there after i conjured it out of a pitch-black menacing darkness that enveloped the room i was in. what's even more weird, i was alone in the room and i don't dream myself alone. 
the black cat. there was a black cat in the dream, how witchy! "Cats are often associated with women and sexuality. In a woman's dream, a cat may indicate feelings of sexual prowess, of feeling in charge of her sexuality. She may feel like going out on the prowl and may feel confident doing so!" oh, more sex... "To see a black cat in your dream, indicates that you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition. You may erroneously associate the black cat with evil, destruction, and bad luck". unfortunately, the poor cat ended up shredded in pieces by a psycho maniac who kept showing it to me and yelling "he'll be back after you!".
"Cat dreams ask dreamers to depend less on the intellect and rely more on the intuition. Just like a cat, the more highly the intuition is regarded, the more likely it is to come around and lend its wisdom."
the moon. yes, it was a clear night outside, with a full moon and very bright stars. so, moon "
The moon has long been associated with psychic activity and in dreams means you are psychic / intuitive. It is a light in the dark of night and symbolizes your unique ability to shine your light in the dark. The silver color of the moon alone would also indicate this. "(any connection to the reversed moon card that appeared in the tarot spread last time?) and "To see stars in your dream, symbolize success, your aspirations and your high ideals. The stars indicate that you are putting some decision in the hands of fate and luck. Alternatively, the stars may signify your desire for fame and fortune. "
in conclusion, the dream tells me that 1. i'm vulnerable (the cat) but i can fight. hey, i did conquer that darkness alone so go me! 2. i should rely on my intuition more. 3. i'm a womanly woman who has issues relating to the opposite sex. it was a guy who tore up the cat, there was another guy who seemed very scared of the maniac and me. yep, he was. because i was trying to tell him about the blue snake and he kept trying to shush me and looked at me in sheer horror. 4. i'm very tired now.
fin

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the love horoscope for this week

i just love the first phrase of sasstrology: "Embrace the weird". Then it goes something like this... "It’s the fuel that will drive your vehicle towards its new destination. Don’t turn your nose up at something because it appears unsavory. Let’s say you’re having sexual fantasies that would make an avid Penthouse reader blush. Those fantasies contain vital information. Isn’t there value in knowing what’s kicking around in the depths of your soul? It’s all grist for the mill. You can use the material you deem “not nice” as a means to punish yourself, or you can think of it as old clay for you to re-shape into something that is beneficial and beautiful."
 let me point something out, sasstrology. i've always embraced the weird to a point where i have no idea how a "normal" relationship feels like (normal = most people's idea of relationship. where you like each other, date for a while, move in together and eventually have 1.5 kids, an apartment  and relatives visiting for dinner). but then again, you can't ask normal of aquarians. or gemini, for that matter. and since attraction involving other signs is virtually zero, this is a moot point. my question is - define the weird. then again, of course penthouse readers would blush at my fantasies. especially those involving flaying exes alive and putting their heads on a spike, medieval style. of course, it could be shaped into something beautiful, although we should define beautiful here. in conclusion: more weirdness. thank you, universe.

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new character to be added to THAT story

the lame prince. i know, there's lots of royalty but hey, medieval stories featured that as well! and anyway, he's not really rich, nor powerful, has a shabby little castle and his land is afflicted by drought. used to be a lover of rosaline, but he scorned her so she cursed him in return. eventually dies by the hand of the Other King. maybe.

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less dead today

and yet, not completely alive. but since i am up since 6.30 am - summertime schedule means that i wake up really early for no apparent reason i got coffee, shower, a little blog-reading and walked the dog, hate walking the dog. nope. let me rephrase it. i'm afraid for v obvious reasons such as stray dogs.
back to the blogs - there's another guy against hugh jackman. oh man! what's your frustration? same guy claims that women who wear make-up are either ugly or looking for someone else other than their partner. look, guy, people like you make me (and most women) like hugh jackman even more. because, again, he's been married to the same woman in like forever and she's not a model. she's actually older than he is. hugh jackman shows he is an evolved person with that. hugh jackman is charming, smart and does not think dancing is gay. he's the embodiment of "i can be extremely manly doing high-kicks in sequined tight-pants". that's called confidence. hugh jackman does not look like a cocky jerk or a player. he's suave, funny and has a smile which would melt chocolate at 10 paces. try that at home really, just do it. it's less about the looks and more about attitude. there are better looking guys out there, but most of those aren't half that charming.

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just wanted to say

current mood: freshly exhumed corpse.

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for today we've got...

i want to see inception now because the trailer looks awetastic
went last night at the movies. saw romanian movie which was supposed to be a drama about a teenager avenging her bff killed dead by a local mobster. the drama part sucked royally but some of the fun parts were really fun. also, the evil mobster was somewhat good. and in the end we had champagne because it was premiere night so whee!
cannes festival started yesterday.
current mood: someone is breathing gasoline next to me while i'm on fire.so tempting.... also, related to the glass of water theory cleolinda has. as in: i want to get that glass of water, pour poison in it and flay it alive.

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the universe is out to get me. try MOAR BETTER

"The Universe continues to insist that we awaken to reality. That’s another way of saying that you have the ability – should you look with discerning eyes – to see the possibilities hidden under your nose. For that to happen, you need to engage yourself in ways that involve your heart and your creative expression. That sense of joy that comes from being fully immersed in what you love then reveals the various options you may have been blind to before. This may not be your usual modus operandus for going after what or whom you want, but it’s time to switch it up!"so says sasstrology, my current guide to life, universe and everything. i say the universe should stop insisting especially in matters of heart. hello, universe, it's an "retro me this, retro me that" period when we should take it easy and stick to things we know. also, it's a good time to plot.
then, more advice for librans :"Romantic idealist or jaded cynic from the school of hard knocks? The Cosmos is trying to blend these disparate sides (seriously, stop trying), and shape you into a responsible romantic (lawl. you can't. i'm either all fluff or waiting for the other to die like a textbook plutonian). It’s not as dry as it sounds; after all, your ability to trust in love is anchored when you express your maturity(are you for real?). That still leaves plenty of room for kooky spontaneity – which will, in just a few short days, be the hallmark of your most important relationship(WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, I AM GETTING SCARED). It’s going to be an exciting ride (FREAKED OUT NOW), but you’ll be grateful for the feeling of groundededness (IS THAT EVEN A REAL WORD?) that the Universe is trying (it's a catchphrase by now) to instill in you now." in conclusion: the paranoid-conspiracy-theorists were right. the Universe is trying to do stuff to us.

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peering down the rabbit hole

i don't get horror movies, especially the blood and guts type. i really don't. what's so interesting about seeing someone's head ripped off? no, let me rephrase that. what's so interesting about a movie where there are only various people killed in sadistic and very graphic ways? honestly, porn looks like food for thought compared to those.
retro merc + politicians = general disaster. i mean, not that politicians fare any better even in the most auspicious of transits, but this time, they screwed up badly. the whole "let's cut the wages in the public sector and the pensions because, yeah, we have no more money" sucks. big time. why should people pay for your effin' mistakes? that's what i don't get. what did you do with all those money you collected from taxes? where did it go? so, in conclusion...you people are idiots.

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mantra for the days to follow

repeat 100 times in the mirror while kidneys get full of gravel from the teeth :
"No.
Just breath.
Wait. (hate that waiting part, must repeat 100 additional times. also NO)
Until May 14.
20th for men/battles/lawsuits.
Put down your psycho-texting-device/ murderous thoughts.
Focus on stirring up major miraculous strong Qi/auspicious astro weirding in the part of your chart where you have late Pisces/early Aries. 26 degrees Pisces to three degrees Aries (12th house of sorrows and undoings. how convenient).
Don’t waste even a nano-cule of your brain cells “analyzing”(must repeat 100 additional times)…"
 thank you, mystic medusa.

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why didn't you say so earlier?

i had an a-ha moment while reading the post of the fabulous mystic medusa. in conclusion: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR BRAZEN THEATRICS, no matter how much i long to do that. so i'll channel my capricorn moon whose virtues are patience, dry humor and ability to outmaneuver a Scorpio on a vengeance kick. also, stomach burns, but that's a different story.
but after mid-may, watch out. look, whatever, since libra is just aries in drag with a diploma from charm school (love that description), i'll probably turn into a brazen hussy with red nails who lives for making scenes.
also, i saw "veronika decides to day" last evening. it was ... hmmm... nice, i guess.

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mercury retro

is just not fun. communication issues arise, credit cards get lost and sometimes people just don't get you. which is annoying.then, of course, the moon is in capricorn and it means business.

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happy lovemas!

again, from sasstrology:
"Beltane is the real love holiday – no cards and candy, just raw, sensual passion. Forget about innocent maidens dancing around the May Pole – on the Celtic isles, this ancient festival marked the emergence of a young god into manhood. Awakened by the forces of nature, he and his goddess succumb to love’s pleasures as they lie down to “fertilize” the fields. On this day, all existing obligations are set aside and a woman can choose any man she fancies. Children born of these unions were considered holy, blessed by the gods.
Beltane, like its counterpart Samhain (aka the Day of the Dead), divides the year into two main seasons – summer and winter. In olden times on May 1, people rose at dawn to welcome the return of the sun god Bel by gathering blossoms and branches to decorate their homes. Women braided flowers in their hair. Giant bonfires were lit that night, and there was much feasting. Food was always set aside for the faery folk, as the veil between the two worlds became thin at this seasonal turning point. Legend claims that if you sit beneath a tree on Beltane Eve, you may catch a glimpse of the Queen of the Faeries riding by on her white horse – but don’t look her in the eye or she may spirit you away to her realm."
so the sun is shining, flowers are in bloom, birds are chirpring... happy loving. and if he screws up later just remember there comes a time of the year when he'll get so dead. 

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