i can't wait to see inception. joseph gordon levitt is my new crush. welcome to the harem, sweetheart.
saturn return might actually bring some rewards which means i must have done something right so far. pms-ing is not fun though. not one little bit. i'm lethargic and it so much sucks that i have to summon energy that i do not have. can't wait for my holiday. why can't we have free days when pms-ing. whyyyyyyyyyyyyy? in conclusion: whiny bella mood. and i'm listening to florence+the machine again
the wolfman is gathering dust while waiting for me to watch it.

Tara bashes franklin's head with a mace. i mean, for real. is that what significant others want to do with us libras in general? that raised a lot of questions since obviously franklin is a deranged libra yet still a libra. obsession with marriage? checked. being a sucker when in love? checked. satin pajamas? checked and double checked (hey, the pajamas were awesome).
then sookie, bill and lorena have a love triangle which involves tears of blood, bill being tortured and lorena going for sookie's throat literally. how nice.
then the aro king of mississippi proposes to sophie anne in the most interesting way. "you'll have a husband who never touches you and also, i'll clear your debts. however, if you say no, eric will go for your throat". aww, love.
jason's still having the stupid buuuuuuuuut he buys crystal flowers and goes to her house which is a big step forward for humankind in general. the fact that crystal already has a fiance is somewhat inconvenient but we'll move over that.
sam is on the family love mode and tries to save his little brother.
now everyone is happy, including me.
fin

there's a new trailer for "let me in" - the american remake of the fantabulous "let the right one in". okay, look, maybe, just maybe kodi smith is more attractive than the swedish oskar. but now, the american version of the vampire girl is just a pale copy of eli, who is one of my favourite female characters ever.what i dislike most about the american trailer is the fact that the seem very interested in making it look unnecessarily scary. *headdesk. the original was so fab especially because there wasn't any "look! there's a vampire girl!! no, srsly, she kills people!! scary scary scary!!! aren't you people scared yet???" 



the tagline rocks though "she will keep you safe. she will keep you close. she will keep you forever"

oh, yeah, gravity who might not be as great as i first thought. maybe it's just the description but i can't help it if "hugely-CGI heavy" and "a team of astronauts — including the lead medical engineer and a talkative "mile-a-minute" veteran astronaut — who are asked to abandon their fix-it Hubble telescope mission and quickly reboard their ship after a sudden implosion of Russian satellites triggers a debris avalanche in orbit that threatens their immediate safety. It's basically a very high concept sci-fi thriller and a nonstop race for our protagonists to get back to earth." are not appealing to me. i feel betrayed alfonso cuaron. i mean, you made great expectations. i wanted love story in space, not another version of avatar...

there's nothing like it. one moment i'm down and barely dragging my limp corpse to and fro and HA! PEPSI! the very next moment i'm whistling "Big Spender" and life is so beautiful. all thanks to caffeine which is not that bad.
in other really good news: today is one of those days i don't have to wear sleeves. see, i totally hate sleeves in summer. actually i hate even straps. buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I HAVE TO WEAR THEM WHEN I PRESENT THE HOROSCOPE WHICH IS NOT AT ALL FUN but it's decent i guess whatever. however, today there is no horoscope so NO EFFIN SLEEVES. MY ARMS ARE TOTALLY FREE. WHEEEEEEEE!
one of the bright idea i had while drinking pepsi was to have a spinoff of the long dark teatime of the soul (best title ever in the world for a book) with thor and munin the raven. inspired by the new thor movie and my obsession with said mythical raven of odin. munin should be able to transform into a woman and she keeps track of silly thor on earth. also, munin is ambivalent and sort of enigmatic but not the dark seductress cliche. i mean, excuse me, but that's old and boring. she's v diplomatic, smart, DOES NOT HAVE A CAUSTIC TONGUE BECAUSE I HATE THAT IN PEOPLE and she's non confrontational. really now, it would be much more interesting if for a while we didn't equate the idea of a strong female character with ball-busting bitch with a big mouth.

this is why i did not have time to put make-up on before going to work and trust me, makeup is v important in television. like, you have to put a ton of it. and it takes time.but true blood is more important even than make-up.
so blah blah arleneispregnanant and she's moving in with what's his face blah blah sam's redneck family blah blah a guy is courting lafayette WAIT that was really sweet. it was the hotass jesus from the sanatorium where lafayette mom's was put! yay! so jesus basically watches lafayette working all day for 12 hours straight and at that point i fell over dead from awesome because no boyfriend of mine just sat there patiently watching me work for 12 hours straight and tell me he was happy just to look at me (without interfering and/or complaining. LOUDLY). lafayette, honey, that guy loves you. don't let him go.
now, FRANKLIN does more stuff libras also secretly long to do but the justice system and other people get in the way of that. so franklin tells tara he luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffs her and kicks another vampire's butt because he did not bring food to his beloved. also he bought her a really pretty dress, all lacey and retro and that's how you also know he is a libra. because he did not but some cheap porn costume for his beloved. whee! yeah, tara is still bound with ropes but that's just details. then she is trying to fool him and i am afraid franklin will totally fall for that because we're suckers when we like a person. anyways, he proposes to her (do you have any idea how rarely a guy is so enthusiastic about the idea of marriage? yeah, i know) and without further ado, he also says he will change her into a vampire so they can be together forever. you know, if bella had met FRANKLIN instead of edward, twilight would have been three books shorter.and there would have been no werewolves, no love triangles, no renesmee, no fuckwittery.
also key scene. eric goes to the king of mississippi (who back in the day when eric was human and screwing everything that moved killed his viking dad and mom) and meets bill. following conversation ensues:
blah blah blah BILL: "SOOKIE IS NO LONGER MINE"
ERIC: *DOES A VICTORY LAP IN HIS HEAD AND GRINS
ME: *starts giggling with unholy happiness.
however, Eric the Awesome should move faster because the were in this series is no Jacob.also Bill somehow escapes the king's castle and goes to warn Sookeh who is with Alcide (of course she is) and then there's a lot of fighting WHERE IS ERIC???
*FIN, CREDITS ROLL*
NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK

honestly, i witnessed some A+ grade fuckwittery scenes today. i was not happy. all i really wanted was a nice day roasting in the sun ... i had no plan to witness the scenes THAT couple made. okay, i get it cancer girl and taurus boy, you don't do break ups. unfortunately, they don't do getting along either... so yeah. and after a short meaningful discussion with wise sister pisces we reached the conclusion they won't ever learn.
p.s. will smith will be a vampire too?

stupid suicidal cow a.k.a "she went to sing with the angels" romanian singer is seriously harshing my buzz. my get-thy-shit-together saturn return and hard-knocks moon in capricorn are appaled. she commited suicide because she was not pretty anymore? guess what, sweetheart, we all age. and the cow had a child too, but she was so selfish as to not care what will happen to that child because she wasn't feeling pretty. so she drank poison. excuse me while i don't care.
oh yeah, romance. found the explanation. moon, mars and venus are right now transiting my 5th house. so whatever, but prince charming would better move his butt and do charming stuff. before i run away with Franklin, the smooth voiced vampire. ILU FRANKLIN.

Sun conjunct Lilith in the natal chart seems to play out as the ego feeling exiled from the dominant patriarchal system. Sometimes this is as a result of actual abuse from male authority figures. The subject then creates its own breed of sexuality or moral code, crowning itself. With the rejection of the dominant male, the dark female energy can eclipse the father figure altogether. The fiery creativity of the Sun fused with the peircing intuition of Lilith makes them sexually magnetic and intense. They are are closely bound to the spirit world, and can sometimes see peoples shadows. The taboo is cast over their identity, to the extent that they can become demonized.  They may fall into the forbidden fruit of drugs to numb the pain of feeling like an outcast. Despite their seemingly rebellious behaviour, Black Moon Lilith needs more than most to feel at one with nature and to belong. Their sexuality is instinctive and untamed, feeling comfortable in their own skin.
 in conclusion: i am one sexy vixen. wink wink

long story short. ohmygods, i feel so talkative today, so the story won't be short probably. bill breaks up with sookeh over the phone because he's bad for her. sookeh's reaction is "shut the fuck up". bill's pour salt on the wound with the "i totally hate-sexed lorena and i was not afraid i will break her and sorry to be you kthxbai". sookeh cries. edward  bill cries too after he hangs up. shirtless and hot werewolf alcide tries to console sookeh. "warm your hands at my chestular fires baybeh". but he does not get revenge sex, because, apparently, weres are not deserving of that (note to self: write a fanfiction story where the werewolf gets some action. just to even things a bit). then sookeh convinces said were to do incredible stupid things for her.... and so far it's like new moon for grown-ups.
there's even a hot car. okay, it's lafayette's who is trying to deal V for eric but almost gets his ass kicked. fortunately, eric shows up and shows 'em thugs who's  the boss.
blah blah sam's redneck's family issues blah
and then FRANKLIN SHOWS UP. franklin is obviously a libra with serious issues. he basically likes tara and in true libra style, he's going to have a relationship with her whether she wants it or not. awww... nothing says true love like tying your love interest in the bathroom all day so they can't go anywhere. and later he brings her flowers and takes her to see the king of mississippi - the aro guy - who finally got edward bill. franklin manages to be still disturbingly attractive with his velvety voice and all. it's also refreshing to see a character who's not obsessed with sookeh so go him.
eric, meanwhile, has sexy fantasies of sookeh where she says unto him "you smell like the ocean in winter. bill smells of nothing at all". HAR HAR.
then there's some were party/initiation rite/ something where we get to see there were's ex-fiancee who's a skank. and no one gets his head bashed in. that was... surprising.
and then bill being mopey over sookeh seduces a strip dancer with a death wish into being killed in the hot limo. bill's such a textbook scorpio, i can't even tell you.
credits roll, fin, ILU franklin

Fair or not, the rest of us tend to look to you for a hint at how to do the relationship thing. After all, romance and love are your particular areas of expertise, right? Well, now the Universe asks you to offer us a master class in THE WAY to make all relationships – romance and otherwise – fair and even mature. (A few of us around the globe still have some growing up to do, in case you hadn’t noticed.) The reason why you’ve been singled out to bring us all up to speed is because you graciously lead by example. Lead on!
thank you sasstrology for making me feel good. hey, it's not everyday you're being called a relationship expert. beaming with pride here :D (although i am not entirely sure this applies to people with uranus, mars and mercury in the 7th house and a weird relationships record)

So yeah, advice from the master. basically it's all about being nice and considerate of the other, lest thy lover's false to thee in which case you are allowed to torment him/her for the rest of your life. fair is fair, there's no point in beating around the bush. also, say i love you a lot and stop being a coward about telling people you like them. you know, that's bad. we're being induced the idea that saying "i like/love you very much" is badevilverbotten. i am very against that. okay, most of the times people get scared and i have a feeling they prefer you would rather spit them in the face than admitting you love them, but let's try to make an effort here. also, if you're hurt, say so. you know, "you've hurt me with your stupid" does more good than pretending not to care. because i know you care.

now, let's deal with the hordes of women who have issues with aquarian men, because there are countless of them on astrology forums. to capture their attention: have another boyfriend or be very far away. probably works best if you combine these two elements. then some time later, after they get used to the idea that you're in their life, make a decisive step - tell them you're their girlfriend and move in with them. this works best if you're a leo, since they won't probably protest because you'll rip their throats. although they will possibly hate you secretly. if you're not so lucky to be a leo, summon all your courage and do it anyway. aquarians are fixed signs and they're too lazy to do anything. that involves deciding to be with you or leaving you so it's your call.
water signs: oh well, just carry on imagining stuff and scheming. it's not like you'll listen to things such as reason. p.s. who said scorpio are such smooth seducers with hearts of stone? most scorpios i know are mush, very sentimental and make excellent prey for the white sharks also known as Pisces.scorpio and pisces make a fatal combination. it's all tormented love and second-guessing and not-talking. ohmygods.
capricorns and other earth signs don't need advice since they probably know what's best for them. they are the people who create dynasties and are among the very few who hold on to concepts such as duty. plus, it's like old school romance for them.
ramzillas and leos are ... uh... from another era. another world. saggis are free love so whatever, but be careful because not everyone cheers for that.
gemini: you know what? geminis are masters at relationships. i don't know whose idea it was that they are flirty and superficial but i've never seen an unfaithful gemini. if they do it, they're covering their tracks marvelously so then it does not matter. they're great communicators, they're not stubborn and if they love you, they're not shy about showing it and telling you about that. also, they are willing to negotiate. in a world of the "my way or the highway" that's a blessing. sure, they have bouts of paranoia and jealousy but they're willing to talk about it. damn, geminis will talk about anything.
now i'm going to have some cookies and watch another true blood episode. hopefully, we'll see more of franklin, that vampire with the sexiest voice ever.
p.s. recent statistics show that librans are attracted to vampires. so put your sparkle on and practice your manners and your slightly menacing stare if you have set your sights on one.

it's back! whee!
so we've got so far: bill missing. although my pet theory was that eric kidnapped him, oh well... it was the king of mississippi. who looks like aro. and yeah - blood gelato. apparently bill's destiny is to attend long lavish dinners and play society games with royalty. still, he's not happy. i'd switch places with bill any day of the week.
eric northman does what he usually does. illegal V, bangs people, buys lafayette a red hot car and has a crush on sookeeh (who is like bella in her "but i'm bill's!!") he actually says he wants to sex her. he doesn't in the end (but apparently he will after she finds out bill hate-sexed lorena and twisted her neck...mmmmm... TWINKIES). i would say subtlety is not one of his qualities but whatever, he's eric. still awesome, but more on the soprano side which i do not enjoy very much.
and then sam has a homoerotic dream about bill the vampire. awkward. then he finds his redneck family.
we also have werevolves! and there's alcide who will get to sex bella sookeeh unlike some other werewolf who only got premarital snuggling in a tent in the middle of a snow blizzard. i know that because i've read the spoilers on wikipedia so, in conclusion, go him. also, his girlfriend dumped him ass and now he's being mopey.
wtf, bill sexes lorena!! because that's just how much he hates her??? also he twists her neck literally....
oh yeah and then there's franklin the vampire. i like franklin. more accurately, i adore his voice, his accent, his british accent ohmygod drool. also, he's menacing and obviously is after bill/sookeh, i don't care, give that man more lines. **** drool again... and again... and again...
in between all that sexing, jessica killed a guy and dumber-than-rocks jason is struggling to deal with his killing eggs (honestly, that was a bad move. my sister liked eggs) and tara tries not to kill herself but then she gets to beat the crap out of two guys with a little help from franklin. oh, and then she sexes franklin but that's okay because he whispers in her ear and i got all mushy and weak in the knees at that point. bet he does not smell like incense sticks but of something slightly sweet and warm (OKAY I KNOW HE'S DEAD BUT I CAN IMAGINE THINGS!!! - that was the part where i started talking to myself and it was not very healthy. possibly. i am not so sure)
anyways tara went all cold and prickly because she's got the stupid. i mean, honestly! am disappointed in you, tara. franklin is really hot. VERY HOT. IN A MORE STYLISH WAY THAN ERIC. AND HE'S GOT A BRITISH ACCENT.

apparently by a little witchcraft, for the time is good. i'll get my wand out of the closet.
p.s. the weather is really appropriate too! we got storm. wink

Red Riding Hood directed by Catherine Hardwicke. A dark medieval fantasy? I'm sold, where can i buy the ticket? apparently, there will be werevolves. half naked too??
on an unrelated note, the new body lotion i bought few days ago makes me sparky in the sun. does that mean i will vampire better? especially since i was not aware it was sparkly. the hands of fate (insert twilight zone score here)
the twilight tshirts we have here are not pretty. i mean, i would have liked one (the one with writing in the shape of a heart, i don't dig photos on tshirts), but on a closer look, meh. it's just loose and the red is not red enough.
also, there's news about Let Me In. You know, the remake of the awetabulous Let The Right One In. Boo, i say unto you Hollywood. the trailer looks a lot like a copy/pasted version of the original with different actors. but you don't have Eli and she rocked. she's a libra too, whee!
re: tiredness. i want to crawl on a couch and just lay there watching tv with the curtains drawn. or twilight reruns. and lord of the rings. dear god, i can't wait for the Hobbit. someone being quiet and peeling grapes while i whine on the couch would also be nice. and anyway, whose bright idea was that not showing your emotions was so cool?

As much as you’d like to retreat into your imagination or to fall back into the arms of a dreamy lover (amen to that. i'm still thinking bubble bath, blue cheese, raspberries and wine. also lots of nonsensical stories about anything and hugs. i would kill for a long full body hug and an entire day of whining with someone listening and nodding. woe to me), the reality is that the hits just keep on coming (ain't it cute?). Even your closest pals don’t know how you’ve been managing (heck, i don't even know that). And if you’re in a relationship, it’s likely your partner who’s applying much of the heat these days. Is it too much? If so, then request they give you a moment to catch up. After all, a little rest would do you a lot of good, especially given the tremors you’ve been feeling at home and on the job.
in conclusion: bubble baths and love. anything that someone not asking me for anything and love.

Tasty Beloved sounds very sexy, for some reason. i just wanted to make that clear.
so i saw eclipse the other night and damn, it was fun! just what i needed! tons of fuckwittery! jacob being shirtless! edward being mopey! bella being manipulative!  ILU BB, but i also love jacob so i'll, like, kiss him on a snowy mountain top with howard shore music in the background.
it's also a good thing i'm not bella. because people would have witnessed endless quarrels on the subject of "i trust you. it's him i don't trust". because libras are so argumentative. it would have been an entire 30 minutes of "what do you care what he thinks, as long as i'm not interested, you shouldn't be interested either".
oh yeah, and then there's some quite impressive fighting. you know, no one watches this movies for the action scenes.
also "will you marry me? no" still fills me with unholy glee for some particular reason. must admit i like one thing about edward - his perseverance - so very old school, so rare these days. it doesn't hurt that he's filthy rich either.
p.s. i'm so tired. so very tired. i could just sleep for days