...doesn't feel any different from being 32. so this was a weird year. and somehow the weirding is about to get weirder in the light of the recent events and my ability of attracting other people with huge lumbering trucks of problems. maybe it's my chiron rising, maybe it's the plutonian go-through-hell-and-back routine. oh, yeah, and then i found something that explains it:

Natal Chiron in the 1st House: The Maverick

Chiron is not all about pain and crippling doubts. His full spectrum includes acceptance of whatever wounds are triggered, and the guidance/attraction of others that results from this acceptance. Chiron is an outsider; he represents the feeling of not belonging, or not being as good as everyone else. But if someone has mastered their Chiron energy, the insecure outsider becomes the intriguing maverick. These people know that they’re not one of the group, and that’s what makes them desirable. According to the myth, the centaur Chiron was a teacher before he was wounded. Despite his knowledge, he could not fully heal himself. This is the core of Chiron’s draw: acceptance of what hurts. (like, thank you, astrology for nailing it. i'm good at healing other people but suck spectacularly at healing the wounds of self)
When this planetoid is front and center in the house of identity, Chiron’s energy often manifests as sexual charisma. People recognize that the Chiron person is special. Chiron’s blend of individuality, plus that hint of suffering, creates a powerful fascination. Others sense that the Chiron person has been there/done that, and has something to teach them (on an intimate level). James Dean and Heath Ledger are two examples of 1st House Chirons (both in Taurus). They had sexual magnetism with an underlying hint of vulnerability.

...this was one of those a-ha moments i had during this uber-intense astro times. does not hurt that my north node is in leo so i am bound to learn a thing or two from these people. ok, not all leos are that inspirational, but some of those i know really are, starting, of course with my own personal leo all-father. and by the way, i am writing this because leos know how to receive a compliment, unlike other signs
and one of the first things you learn it's that it's good to be part of a pride of lions. it's no wonder they call it a pride. it's not a flock, pack, herd or whatever. it's a PRIDE. leos understand the value of having people around and i have yet to meet one who is a loner or who despises people. this is why they are popular.
"be happy" - this advice was given by a leo. i think leos truly believe in the pursuit of happiness. and inspire others to do the same with their general sunny disposition.
express yourself, it's human nature and true blue - look madonna is a leo. that girl knows what she's talking about.
have fun - leos are into the feel-good-things-in-life. and they like to talk, they make great entertainers and they're not not shy about showing their emotions.

since apparently mercury in leo is good for keeping journals and i am in a vague mood for contemplating ....stuff.
1. i was under neptune's spell last summer, which was possibly one of the worst summers in my personal history for a lot of reasons including a bout of denial who wasn't just a river in egypt. in conclusion: real touchable life is infinitely better in all its infinite madness than living in a dream
2. transiting lilith, venus and jupiter through the first house of self was probably one of the best things ever. they brought on the awesome. EPIC AWESOME. excuse me for wanting a whole lot more of that, don't stop here, pleaseeeeeeeee
3. apparently, i am honing my powers of bitchcraft which isn't quintessentially my fault. i had to deal with a lot of mad people in my life
4. what's the deal with meeting so many scorpios? is it a karmic thing or something? i am used to meet fellow air-signs but these people operate on an entirely different level and they're sooooo sensitive. which brings us to the next point: i come from the school of roll-with-the-punches air plus i had to deal with a lot of mad people in my life which inherently makes the whole perspective on life slightly skewed. i don't understand ego and probably a lot of other things and yes, i am very blunt because life taught me so.
5. geminis rock. not all of them, possibly, but at least some

you know how astrology says librans' major flaw is being unable to choose? well, looking back (again, a saturn thing) i sort of realize it's more of a boon. waiting, gathering information and not-rushing into anything = things will eventually work out for themselves. that which i would really like to work out faster right now is getting over pms, because it's messing with my inner zen.

working hours - a gazzillion (daddy Saturn is kissing me on the forehead from up above for my diligence and survival skills). however, managed today to take bathromm break and a few smoking breaks. also, this past few weeks noticed the management styles of sunsigns and had an in-depth look at the aries-libra polarity.
aries xena is great at mobilizing the troops and instructing them. yeah, she's definitely in the "driving the rest of them with the zeal of a missionary baptizing heathens" philosophy. also, organization - trust the aries to do the job.
on the other hand, the libra will be into the "poll the entire team and then make a decision and let's keep everyone happy". on the other hand, i was repeatedly told this past few weeks that i look mean. possibly helpful in the longterm.
another thing i noticed re: aries - libra. aries has all the assertivness when dealing with the outside world. libra got the asertivness in 1-1 relationships.

and to quote from my favourite astrologer, mystic medusa:

“…I am the Passion of Lightning and the Command of Thunder,

What exists, IS, because I have Willed it To Be.

I am the Queen of Heaven in a Mansion of Fire,

I am First among those in the Great Sky-Boat of Eternity…”

From Hymn To Sekhmet



"FUQ YEAH Sekhmet!

I would totally go to church every Sunday if it was more like this.

It would presumably be completely fine to bring cats + our illegitimate children and/or illicit lovers, yes?" (i subscribe to that)
and by the way, i did some astro research and found out that i have asteroids ishtar and godiva conjunct in leo. (and that sounds extremely well. almost like having a inner point of golden awesome in my life. and some holy enjoyment of all the fine things in life)

....most of them not the easy way. actually it was pretty gory some of the times. and considering that a vast majority of my dating life was about aquarians, i know what i am talking about:
- stand my ground.
- saying what i have to say in a very direct and precise way because allusions just won't do it.
- the above 2 things are the main reasons why i come off as blunt, confrontational and forceful. the "break my heart and i'll break your neck" attitude came after a series of unfortunate events that did not end until i pounded them into the ground.
- independence (you know, my instinct tells me to be co-dependent. then i met some aquarians who would not co-depend. i would still gladly and happily co-depend but on some normal terms)
- self-confidence. that was also forged during the water-bearer wars. partially because if you survive those battles, no one can practically do anything to you.

the fire-version. blood and guts. look at the xena kicking ass.



the water version. campy, funny and with a piranha edge in it.

why don't we get our snow white? as in the air-sign version of snow white??? come on, we promise we're fun!!

actually it's one of the best and sensible lines in movie history:

will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts.

also, i would like to thank the universe for my xena BFF, sister-fish and her psychic insight that i promise to listen religiously from now on and never question it again, my gemini BMF and all the other people who keep me on an even keel. they are my tribe.

again, words of wisdom from mystic medusa
"Dark Moon Bitch Goddess Lilith is in late Aries and opposing Saturn: that combined with Uranus Direct has quite a few peeps telling tradition, patriarchy, one authority in particular to go fuq itself – definitely a spirited re-think of received opinion, especially from older males/Saturn figures."
wow, that sort of explains everything, since saturn is on my sun and by extension lilith is opposing those 2 planets. and pluto too. and my natal lilith. 

first of all - orangelove. it's orangelovely to say the very least.

yes, it is THAT cute. then again, i am utterly hooked on weird and potentially tragic love stories so i may be really biased. also, the actress is unbelievably beautiful.




and of course, there's also the video. and the whole idea of "boy meets girl. tragedy ensues and the along the way there's a lot of symbolism and pretty imagery" is probably a plot one can sell to me over and over again.
also, remember the libra hero? i just noticed there is a pattern for the libran female characters as well - very likely to get killed off for extra romantic tragedy and moving the plot forward. cases in point: "restless" (mia tragically dies of cancer), "contagion" (kate winslet and gwyneth die of that horrible disease), "revolutionary road" (again, kate dies. you know, i actually think "revolutionary road" portrays successfully the dynamics of a libra/scorpio relationship which is one of terminal misunderstanding and in the long run very frustrating for both parties. but neither is giving it up because not so deep down both are relationship signs. on the other hand, in titanic, the scorpio brooding hero leonardo does die and the libra kate survives, but in my opinion that was just the exception that confims the rule), "quills" (kate, again, dies and her wanna-be scorpio lover joaquin weeps), gwyneth in "se7en" (it was the "oh no, he DIDN'T JUST DO THAT" horrifying moment), marion cotillard in "inception" (again, with leonardo di caprio. again libra/scorp. and she haunts him).
now that i think of it, guess the libra-romantic-heroine death is more tragic when the lover is a scorpio. and even if she doesn't die the love story oozes tragedy. look, in shakespeare in love the put together libra gwyneth with gemini joseph fiennes. of course it was fun and light-hearted and the underlying tragedy was averted. because, you know, this is how libra/gem works.
on the other hand, i can't think of a single movie with a libra/aqua romantic relationship. the prestige does qualify on a level, in that the two magicians, hugh jackman and christian bale, are libra and aquarius and it is brilliant in portraying the "merlin" side of the air-sign men. it is also brilliant in portraying the extremes of behavior air-signs are capable of. there's also "mysterious skin", but it's a friendship between the male gay lead and a libra female so it doesn't really count. oh yes. "a walk on the moon" with aqua diane lane and libra viggo. AND libra liev schreiber. hmmm....

a.k.a the avengers. no, i am not kidding, this movie spells clearly the fire signs philosophy and appropriately most of the main characters are embodied by fire signs actors.



so: iron man is ramzilla, thor is ridiculously leonic (he even has the trademark blonde mane!!), nick fury, the hulk and the black widow are saggis and captain america is...gemini (but that does not count, as we already established geminis are the only true actors in the world).

ridiculous textbook astrology dialogue ensues:

Tony Stark: No offence, but I don't play well with others. (VERY ramzilla. rams take charge. they lead, you follow and you don't question their orders)
Steve Rogers: You're a big man in a suit of armour... take that away, and what are you? (gemini razor-sharp tongue example here. geminis thrive on a good quarrel)
Tony Stark: A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist? (ramzilla in action again. unshakable, ego the size of china and damn proud of it. plus he got those titles all by himself. totally self-made success story and he will let the whole world know about that)
[Thor laughs] (because he's a leo and inside his head he's just watching his courtiers squabbling and that's entertaining. and, you know, he's A GOD. with a trademark golden mane. whereas iron man is well... just a man. as in not a god with a golden mane)

and guess who they're fighting? loki the aquarius (for some yet unknown reason aquarian actors make great villains on screen. or at least heros with a dark side - think batman) who wants to destroy the world and gives all these heros a chance to righteously bash heads, blow up stuff and show off while the entire world applauds.
yes, i know, i said libra males make also great heros on screen, but we're talking a different kind of hero here. the libra-hero is the gallant knight in shining armour type (which is why they didn't have hugh jackman or will smith in this movie. i mean it would have been the aragorn-boromir scenario all over again and that didn't make the ram look good). the fire-sign hero is bold brash and not so deep down, more of a warlord who can't wait to get to the action scenes. the philosophy of the fire sign hero is simple : he's the good guy with a mission to crush the bad guy and blow him up to smithereens or at least make him beg for forgiveness in public.

which is why i totally want to see this movie now.

...that's very appropriate with halloween incoming and all.

first of all, let's define plutonians. they're not necessarily scorps. they're people with a strong pluto (conjunct sun, in the first house, stuff like that). and they feel each other accurately. because plutonians are very able to dissimulate their feelings and thoughts ... except in front of other plutonians. they just KNOW if one of their tribe is happy/distressed/in trouble/ cooking up something....
example: party, last night. felt worried. uber-libran of the pluto tribe immediately picked it up, looked straight into my eyes and extended one hand. touched it with the fingertips. "how does it feel?". "warm, zen.... thank you"

on the other hand, there are temporary members of the pluto tribe (particularly those who have pluto transiting their first house) and those are not a pretty sight. i've witnessed that, first hand. they feel they are being dragged to hell, stripped of all their power and sense of self. you know, this won't end until they reach the bottom, be naked and hanged on a hook. only after that they can reclaim who they are

for better or for worse i suffer of a fatal attraction towards:

a. fire-sign females aka fire-xenas. my best friends have been either aries or leo. they're uber-supportive, optimistic, fun to be around, passionate, energetic and have a lot of initiative (which suits this libby-fleur just fine as i get to fawn over them to my heart's content). however, the males of the species are.... let me find the nice words for them. most of the time they're too... to say the very least, demanding.

b. air-signs males aka air merlins. because while they have some exasperating traits, you can eventually reach an agreement (most of the times, at least). because they can cook and they are very smart and funny and their achille's heel is romance. seriously, they have the "wow" in the romance department. nevermind what they say about fire guys being passionate, water guys being mushy or earth guys being sensual. air sign males will woo you like no other. because they have staying power.because they can offer unbiased opinions. and sometimes they are positively magical. because they are the right confidantes. just like fire signs females.

i am not saying that the rest of the zodiac isn't awesome in its own right just that... oh well, that's me.

intense?
transformative?
touching the very core of the being?
verging on the taboo?
bringing out the raw side?
does it deal with power in any way (okay, the first thing that comes in mind is control and jealousy. but pluto can play in much more subtle ways with power - such as being actually empowering)? 

if you check all of the above, congratulations, you have a pluto kind of love

...about astrology. in romanian. here

...mostly because i have more spare time now and less stuff to freak out about.
gemini are less flakey than traditional astrology wants us to believe. most of those i know, aside their big mouths, they're actually more traditional and more routine-loving than the other air signs. and contrary to popular opinion, once they're in love, they're very faithful. also, they cherish long-term friendships.

no matter how sweet they may appear to the world, capricorns have a nazi-like approach to relationships. which works fine with taurus for strange reasons.

scorpios couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it. i seriously mean that - witnessed it at least a frillion times.

cancer men have a roving eye that would put casanova to shame (that would be sister's observation, to be more accurate).

schmoozing always works with leos. translate that into "give them attention, do stuff together with them and ask for their opinion" not necessarily "tell them they're the best". i should know, i have 3 decades of experience with a leo dad.

virgos never like anything. ever. they have a fault-finding radar that prevents them to be truly happy.

water signs are less forgiving than astrology says they are. especially pisces.

lady godiva.

somehow, i also like this other painting but... seriously. lady godiva with her head down?
according to legend, she rode around the town naked in order to protest against the unfair taxes imposed by her husband. so, seriously, a character like that wouldn't keep her head down.

also, because i had to talk astrology here, i have a double-whammy transit of mars-godiva. i think this may be a message from the stars to channel the extra-oomph and go get them.

by the way, i like it how mystic medusa puts it "Maybe she was a Libra whose lover had said he couldn’t see her that week as he was worried about his tax bill so she thought she’d multi-task – gallop past his house naked so she could see what he was missing, scout for fresh lovers AND incite a tax riot."

you know, anarchism has sometimes a point. a very strong point. as proven today, yet again, it seems that bureaucracy exists only to eat your soul and, frankly, i suspect that some terrorist movements were created after otherwise nice and law-abiding citizens were driven mad by the absurdity of a system which requires you to run around for weeks for no apparent reason. and then it's still your fault!!!!!! nghhh....
okay. so. breathing. get in touch with the dark moon. because there's an upcoming awesome new moon tomorrow, which is my new moon and fabulous things are bound to happen so i'll channel into it

you know, i have this theory according to which, besides gemini and maybe saggitarius, no other sign can truly act - meaning completely disguise their personality.
another case in point - easy a. it works and it's fun because they picked the scorpios to do it. i mean - taboos, secretes, sex, gossip, did-she-do-it-or-didn't-she - that's scorpio territory, complete with drama and a facade of snarkiness which hides a lot of sensitivity. because, y'all, scorpios rival pisces in the feeling department (this is why piscean bruce willis always plays the savior). and emma stone is a scorpio and so is woodchuck todd (which should have been meerkat todd, shiny lulz. that's trufax - i've read it on imdb so it must be true) - while BFF rhiannon is an aries (and martian badassery collides so, duh, no wonder they couldn't be friends. they're competing).
...and we know this is a scorpio movie from the opening line "The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated." says olive. you know, because we all expect scorpios to do it with everyone. which they don't but they look like it anyway and they will play along with that because it's the power trip they get. also - the scarlet letter, written by a cancer - and being inspired by it too. you know, it's totally the sort of book water signs would read and act accordingly to its teachings.
and let's not forget the whole religion thing. yep, that's also scorpio territory.
...and, somehow unsurprisingly, the writer of the movie is a libra. but i think he had in mind something more on the "les liaisons dangereuses" side. we're into that type of intricate and convoluted plots.