my creative streak is back! i did the watteau-esque skirt yesterday and today is time for the blue dress with flowers embroidered. yey! ...also, on the subject of relationships and marriage. i have absolutely no intention in the foreseeable future of getting desperate over not having an immature/insecure/irresponsible prick in my life. been there, done that and it's a fast track to nowhere. plus i see my friends (male and female) pining over characters who don't reciprocate their feelings and who behave miserably, use and abuse them. "but you've never been truly in love", they say... uh, if love means suffering like a dog over extended periods of time for someone who clearly isn't into you and, as a bonus, uses you as a doormat... probably not. and i would rather be a crazy old woman with cats than spend my life feeding the ego of some idiot. plus, i am very tired and i frankly don't have the energy, time and will to devote to the noble cause of suffering from "love". i am so not masochistic. and although i adore tragic love stories in the books and in the movies, i don't like them in real life. honestly. and i am also incredibly tired of "understanding". no more understanding unless understood back. ...sure, i would like someone in my life. someone who cares, protects and makes my life better. someone who could be the father of my children. and this is where stuff actually gets serious. messing around, i can do with about anyone. at its worst, i get some more emotional scars and i waste some time. a father for my children - which is what i am after at this point - takes the game to an entirely different level. which requires me to be extremely picky because it's not just me there, it's also the life of my future children. i want them to have a beautiful life, without worries. i want them to have a functional family who supports and cares for them. so...how can i afford to settle for a man-child who is not even able to do the most basic of the social niceties (like answering the fucking phone or knowing what i like) without his ego getting in the way? i will have to rely on that person for at least a few years...