this is why i did not have time to put make-up on before going to work and trust me, makeup is v important in television. like, you have to put a ton of it. and it takes time.but true blood is more important even than make-up.
so blah blah arleneispregnanant and she's moving in with what's his face blah blah sam's redneck family blah blah a guy is courting lafayette WAIT that was really sweet. it was the hotass jesus from the sanatorium where lafayette mom's was put! yay! so jesus basically watches lafayette working all day for 12 hours straight and at that point i fell over dead from awesome because no boyfriend of mine just sat there patiently watching me work for 12 hours straight and tell me he was happy just to look at me (without interfering and/or complaining. LOUDLY). lafayette, honey, that guy loves you. don't let him go.
now, FRANKLIN does more stuff libras also secretly long to do but the justice system and other people get in the way of that. so franklin tells tara he luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffs her and kicks another vampire's butt because he did not bring food to his beloved. also he bought her a really pretty dress, all lacey and retro and that's how you also know he is a libra. because he did not but some cheap porn costume for his beloved. whee! yeah, tara is still bound with ropes but that's just details. then she is trying to fool him and i am afraid franklin will totally fall for that because we're suckers when we like a person. anyways, he proposes to her (do you have any idea how rarely a guy is so enthusiastic about the idea of marriage? yeah, i know) and without further ado, he also says he will change her into a vampire so they can be together forever. you know, if bella had met FRANKLIN instead of edward, twilight would have been three books shorter.and there would have been no werewolves, no love triangles, no renesmee, no fuckwittery.
also key scene. eric goes to the king of mississippi (who back in the day when eric was human and screwing everything that moved killed his viking dad and mom) and meets bill. following conversation ensues:
blah blah blah BILL: "SOOKIE IS NO LONGER MINE"
ERIC: *DOES A VICTORY LAP IN HIS HEAD AND GRINS
ME: *starts giggling with unholy happiness.
however, Eric the Awesome should move faster because the were in this series is no Jacob.also Bill somehow escapes the king's castle and goes to warn Sookeh who is with Alcide (of course she is) and then there's a lot of fighting WHERE IS ERIC???
*FIN, CREDITS ROLL*
NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK