How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
(1) We are intellectually compatible, even though I find your lack of current political knowledge annoying.
(2) I love you in the sense that you fulfill most of my emotional needs in a reasonably timely and accurate way.
(2a) Although I admit you’ve been a mild disappointment recently.
(3) I feel romantic impulses towards you, mostly.

That’s how I love thee: accurately and efficiently.

... yes, i do lists with numbers. yes, i exhibit most of the traits listed above which fall in the category "you're mostly awesome, with the exception of some really annoying traits". what?