*bill compton has a Wii! Whee! i like vampire bill so much better now!
so, sookie, jason and bill go back to bontemps from texas. bill travels in a specially designed case, courtesy of anubis airlines or sth. meanwhile, sookie has another freaky nasty dream where she consoles eric northman who cries tears of blood. and she kisses his cheeks and eric does the seduction thing and his fangs pop (AHAHAHAHA... *special note to people of true blood - please do sth about the fangs. it's just too hilarious when they pop like that. also, vampires running around shouldn't look like a scene from a benny hill sketch. but i'm being fussy about things now)
they finally arrive in bontemps where maryann has taken over and everyone has bug-eyes and the crazy. except sam (because he's a shapeshifter), andy (probably because he drinks too much), lafayette (because he's too awesome, but in a different way than eric) and tara's mom (because she repented? or maybe because she already works for a different god and doesn't go to parties? i don't know..)
anyway, the stackhouses are back in town to save everybody. sookie confronts maryann (look, if someone did that mess to my house i'd rip her head off too. supernatural creature or not) but maryann goes bwahahhaaha and threatens her at which point bill steps in and chugs the maenad's neck. apparently maenad blood ain't good for vamps, because bill starts throwing up like whoa and so, it's up to sookie and her secret sparkle to save his ass. yes sookie does a sparkly thing with her hands (spoilers ahead: she's got fairy blood)and bill is WOW, how did you do that!
sookie: no time, chop chop!
on the way to safety, bill goes a little emo about not being able to protect sookie (AGAIN)
sookie:we should call Eric. like, totally.
bill: *barf barf barf WHA...? NO, YOU HOR, WE DON'T CALL NO ERIC! *barf barf... also, give me some of your blood, i'll be just fine.
sookie: does it. and everyone knows she should have called Eric because not even a Maenad can stand up to him.
since we're still at sookie saving people, she also exorcizes tara from the maryann spell. but before that, lafayette delivers another awesome line: "Just because god and i have agreed to see other people, it doesn't mean we don't talk to eachother anymore"
on another note, jason rises from the stupid, puts his ash on (chainsaw and nailgun included) and saves sam and andy who have been hiding in the refrigerator at merlotte's. jason also does an impersonation of the horned god for the masses and everyone cheers.
also jessica goes ballistic at hoyt's mom (who's got the crazy) and chomps her neck or so we are made to believe.
in the end bill goes to the queen to maybe solve the maryann problem and... we're left with the picture of a dainty leg covered in blood.