also, i woke up because of an earthquake. it was a tiny one, but since this sort of stuff scares me senseless, here i am, drinking my coffee at 6 am on sunday morning. 5.5 on a Richter scale? wow, i'm happy i wasn't in bucharest and that i live on the ground floor. also, stupid dog was sleeping like there's no tomorrow. i have a keener sense about earthquakes that paco, omgs!
also, i suspect i may have gotten a cold after the trip on the shores of the frozen sea - not quite frozen, but damn, it was cold! neck is still aching from spending all those hours curled in a non-natural position because of the cold.

... and definitely a contender for my favorite character in the games of thrones. yes, she's ruthless, yes she's cunning, power-hungry and hell-bent on revenge but who wouldn't be after being married for 17 years to wayward robert baratheon? i totally understand her desire to see him die in pain, and possibly dance on his grave afterwards. look, in that world is not like she had a lot of choice.

It would be so easy
To sing a song about you (definitely)
It would be so easy to sing a
Sobby, pink (make that pitch black. on a second thought, let's go easy on the black. make it just pitch(es) and forks) song about you
I would spend three or four lines
On describing your eyes (they're blue, hazel, or brown. i already know that.  the question is: do you know what color are my eyes? answer in 5 seconds)
And then the next three or four lines
On the dimples of your smile (that is, when you're smiling which is not very often. most of the time you just curse and that's annoying)
And then I would tell the world
About the way you hold my hand (when nobody sees you, because your macho ego would be hurt by such "girlish" displays of affection)
And they would
They would understand (truth is they don't ever understand what i saw in you. i don't either)
It is so easy
To sing this song about you (oh, i could write a 500 pages novel. terribly frightening. kafka has nothing on you, in terms of idiosyncrasies )
What you are is inside of me (it's called the medulla & cerebellum, or the most primitive part of the brain. i sometimes suspect you only have those)
And could easily be
Could easily be
Could be expressed through
This sobby, pink song about you - i did mention the pitches and forks, but i know i have to repeat myself several times over.
....and basically this is why i can't write love songs.


...

i will completely disagree with the status shuffle on facebook "a relationship doesn't need any promises, terms and conditions... it just needs two wonderful persons - one who can trust and who can understand". hello, this is one of the reasons things go wrong in the world today and whales are nearly extinct and aliens won't come close to us. because relationships need exactly that - promises, terms, conditions, clearly stated, printed and sealed in blood if possible. it's probably the healthiest option. because otherwise we will swim in an ocean of confusion like we do now and someone will get hurt along the way - because mostly the person who trusts is the same one who understands so this leads to massive imbalance. you also need to include what happens if the person falls off the wagon in some sort.

why is there no teaser/trailer of breaking dawn? seriously, people, we need moar sparkly luff in this world and SERIOUSLY NOW, they finally get laid. which results in spectacular disaster, which makes me look good in comparison (look, it's my blog and i'm totally entitled to think it's all about me here). i mean, hey, at least i didn't got knocked up with half-vampire child! emotional entanglements and other otherworldly (read: hellish) scenarios look like a piece of cake. 
on an unrelated note: people who make grammar and spelling mistakes in their own language should be stoned to death or sent to elementary school all over again. i'm not talking about the mistakes you make when you write fast. i'm talking about consistently abusing your language in murderous ways because you're an idiot who didn't bother learning his own mother tongue.
i found another clue for my convoluted love life: my 7th house of relationships is in scorpio. obsessed, possessed, power-struggles and melodramas that would put the latin-american novelas to shame. just BRING. IT. ON.

Love is about to
Become weirder than you think
it could be. Lust too. (from mystic medusa)

oh, re: the sag thing. while i had only one sag sun experience (which was great while it lasted. turned definitely nightmarish later) i just noticed i tend to form connections to people with a strong sag influence. the recipe (for love or disaster or generally a weird mix of the two) is actually simple, come to think of it: air sun, fire moon, libra rising (just for kicks), weak mars (as in kataka or taurus or pisces. definitely have a thing for mars in pisces people which is weirder than words)  and strong sag somewhere hidden.

and now, a song

so yeah, winter is coming and according to sister-fish it's no wonder i'm having nightmares since i watch "such gory stuff with all sorts of weird crap and vampires". the show features no vampires, but it does have white walkers and the body count got to at least 6 in 1 hour. but long story short:
sean bean is awesome as ned stark. he's a true blue pater familias, gardian of the north, honorable, loyal and a mighty warrior and dispenser of justice with the sword, because the aries in him wouldn't have the patience for long trials and lawyers. he's also friend of the king robert baratheon who is no aragorn, so ned looks very good in comparison.also, the king asks him to basically rule the entire kingdom while "he drinks, eats and whores his way to an early death" which in ned's mind is something aragorn should have also done instead of prancing around being awesome and living to be 400.
to be continued...

and by the way, since we're at the "cuties i want to take home and call darling and possibly have hotass babies with" chapter, here's exhibit no. 2

notice the smirk and raised eyebrows. very yum in a "3 am after-party discussion about cuantic mechanics/explaining aristotle's vision on life, universe and everything discussion sprinkled with whiskey". i'm on the other couch in a black dress dangling a red stiletto shoe off  my toes.
P.S. he speaks french and believes in soul mates.

he's got the quirky vibe, the smart, he looks fab in a suit, and a tired-eyes smile. and yeah - the kiss in inception was totally knee-melting material.

because this is one of my favorite pastimes on weekends - watching movies. that and hanging out with the girls. also singing out loud "monday morning" helps.


now the movie. "prince of persia" - it was fun! sure, it was campy and filled with cliches but hey, what can i say. jake gyllenhaal brings the boom-chick-a-waa-waa to the movie. i mean, those big eyes, that smile! (i'm a sucker for a pretty smile. i like people who smile and look friendly. A LOT), the fact that he looks like he's having a great time and doesn't take the whole hero business so seriously. i'm still googling for an appropriate photo. okay, found it. not actually from the movie but better than the posters where he's posing all omg grimdark.

come on, i was smitten by his cute! i really want to take him home and hug him and call him "darling" and make him smile that irresistible smile and ruffle his hair. then go out for wine because he looks like the kind of guy i would have a great time with. then never let him go because he'll be awesome and wonderful and we'll have cute children who will inherit his smile and i will not feel a desperate urge to smash his head with the nearest blunt object.
on another note. jake is a sag. sag could be a good idea. or not. must investigate further

but first thing first: HBO might be doing an adaptation of American Gods. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! HBO does superb series, so i put my faith in them especially since this is one of my favorite neil gaiman gooks. DON'T SCREW THIS UP, IT'S IMPORTANT, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A SCREEN ADAPTATION FOR YEARS NOW!!!!!!!. i mean it. and please make peter stormare chernobog. and choose mr. wednesday carefully (honestly, read the edda first - odin is a very complex figure, quite ambivalent, so please!)
back to dina - seen the movie again. it's still very much awesome, especially because they don't do movies like that too often. "i am dina who sees" she says at the end. dina is very much a lilith character and definitely you don't want to mess with her or scorn her. point in case: leo the anarchist, fuckwitter extraordinaire. she spends half the movie being nice to him and trying to build a decent relationship and how does he react? "oh, people are starving, i'm taking your money and i don't owe you anything even if you saved me from hanging. kthxbai". so dina shoots him at point blank and dumps his sorry ass into the river. which was a great movie ending, because if there was an american version:
a. leo  would have gotten away with it and dina would have had that internal speech about growing stronger blah blah blah
b. leo would have confessed that he luffs her truly madly deeply because he's another unicorn-who-appears-in-american-movies
fin

but this time less disturbing - as in i am part of an all-girl vampire-hunting team. then the nazguls interfere with our vampire-hunting and we hide in a room under a bed and then i wake up. trust me on this one, facing nazguls is a piece of cake compared to the previous nightmares. and last night, it was a benign dream of whatever which i don't remember therefore all is good. on a vaguely related note - there is a hobbit trailer, yay! okay, production video. still YAY!!! because i thought i will grow old and die before they make it! can we have some aragorn though? pleasepleaseplease PJ? *bats eyelashes shamelessly. like a premonition of him entering the gates of helm deep (because he was awesome in those particular 20 seconds. okay, he's awesome in general, but that was the boom-chicka-wow-wow of him awesome)
other than that - rain. much rain, too much rain, omg, where are the sparkly vampires now? I WANT SUN AND SPRING !!!
a few more days left to the grand premiere of games of thrones where there will be big strong killative noble and heroic men. and boromir/eddard should better put his boom-chicka-wow-wow on.
other than that, i want a serious and committed relationship. with a shrink. on a second thought, maybe not. he'll still use me as therapy, and we'll get to a dead end thingie there.
that being said, i'm off to sleep.

or nightmares, to be more specific. that is plain odd, i tell you. after witnessing the destruction of the world roland emmerich-style (earthquakes! tsunamis! massive fires, omg! no hurricanes, though...), last night i've got to the really fun part - struggling with unjust male power. the really bad part was that it felt so real and not at all like a dream. basically it involved confronting all the effin' things that ever bothered me in males, all at once in concentrated form (and, unlike other dreams, there was no scythe to wield, because it was so damn real).
later edit: if i was brave enough to face all these issues in real life BY MYSELF, i will be able to face them in dreams, so help me the black moon.

... unless you're more committed to the Cause,
you'll be blacklisted too.
in truth, i do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note; 
Should my heart love what they despise?
I'm so not sure thou art the one to dote.

...see, i can totally be poetic. especially when it comes to certain people who mistake kindness and sweetness for immaturity and stupidity. which is when i want to kick their unappreciative punk-asses. 

and i truly believe that "before" was not better. the golden age wasn't in the past. if the past was so brill, why did my ancestors lived to be 40, if they were lucky, and died of common flu? most of them were ignorant of the world around them.
today, ignorance is a choice more than anything else. you have virtually instant access to the entire world and its knowledge, there are countless possibilities of being informed and shaping your life the way you want it. it would have not been possible for me to get in touch with certain people before. i would have been deprived of many experiences.
. 

first things first - hbo is evil. only 15 minutes??? and i have to wait 2 weeks now for the first episode??? come on, hbo, you're so. not. fair.
that being said, games of thrones looks like the best series ever. the imagery is breathtaking, THERE IS THE SEAN WHO IS TEN SHADES OF AWESOME OMG. he was born to play the lord of Winterfell and i bet the Aries in him got all giddy at the idea. unfortunately, the books say he will get dead (again! Aragorn is smirking with kingly satisfaction somewhere) there is high fantasy and a touch of horror and it's like watching a grittier lord of the rings.
other than that, in 15 minutes we got to the body count of 3, including a decapitation (look, Aragorn would not be happy about it. i guess Eddard is definitely thinking it's a damn fine thing Aragorn is not king in this movie. there's no one to shadow his gritty awesome, which Aragorn does in LotR. repeatedly. because he's Aragorn)

in conclusion, i just can't wait for that damn episode, omg.

best period drama-romance that i've seen in the lately and yet another proof on why hollywood is not able to do romance properly. maybe it's the imperfect leading men and their tempestuous declarations of love - no brad pitt can beat the prince of montpensier's crying at marie's door. and gaspard ulliel is the epitome of opportunistic charming assholes as the duke of guise. not to mention anjou and his almost grimdark sexyhot impersonation. and never has a display of male jealousy and dueling seemed so sexy as in this movie. i just loved how the boys took their swords and fought each other (WHICH WAS A TOTALLY TWINKIES MOMENT AND I WANT TO SEE MORE OF THAT IN MOVIES)

of course, it helps that there is no clear delineation between the "good guys" and the "bad guys". if it was a hollywood movie, montpensier would have been a true blue asshole or served as comic relief. luckily, this is france so he's a husband in love and jealous and all in all very lovable (yes, verily, i see a hint of king mark in there. hey, i'd like him as king mark)

and then there's the princess. i loved the fact that she's confused and repeats her mistakes and sometimes acts very harebrained and like a spoiled brat. i mean, just like in real life!

and i dream of apocalyptic scenarios these days, for reasons that are yet to be elucidated. also, why do i keep dreaming of being barefoot or at the very least shoe-less? this is just plain odd.
in other news: karaoke nights are a great way of unleashing negative energies. some people do yoga, fasting and a steady diet of denial. i vote for dionysian outbursts of sheer madness, chain smoking and champagne (okay, not so much champagne this time. but it just sounds good), singing out loud and dancing. maybe it's a plutonian thing where i can get in touch with my raw side.going back to the basics. taking a trip to the wild side (queue tada da da da growl growl bad to the bone) plus it's an appropriate thing to do when lilith is conjunct uranus. that and honing my bitch skills because, again, this is a time when the mighty bitch goddess is strong.
also: chiron. seems that having it on the ascendant gives me some healing powers which i am not able to use on myself. you know, the wounded healer of iseewhatyoudidthere. 
good thing saturn is keeping things in check