since apparently mercury in leo is good for keeping journals and i am in a vague mood for contemplating ....stuff.
1. i was under neptune's spell last summer, which was possibly one of the worst summers in my personal history for a lot of reasons including a bout of denial who wasn't just a river in egypt. in conclusion: real touchable life is infinitely better in all its infinite madness than living in a dream
2. transiting lilith, venus and jupiter through the first house of self was probably one of the best things ever. they brought on the awesome. EPIC AWESOME. excuse me for wanting a whole lot more of that, don't stop here, pleaseeeeeeeee
3. apparently, i am honing my powers of bitchcraft which isn't quintessentially my fault. i had to deal with a lot of mad people in my life
4. what's the deal with meeting so many scorpios? is it a karmic thing or something? i am used to meet fellow air-signs but these people operate on an entirely different level and they're sooooo sensitive. which brings us to the next point: i come from the school of roll-with-the-punches air plus i had to deal with a lot of mad people in my life which inherently makes the whole perspective on life slightly skewed. i don't understand ego and probably a lot of other things and yes, i am very blunt because life taught me so.
5. geminis rock. not all of them, possibly, but at least some

...i have no idea where this sudden burst of energy came from, but i'm acting like the efficiency fairy lately which is slightly stunning. i finished the dress for the girl, which came out pretty, my dress for oana's wedding, which is emerald green silk and floats around and a whole lot of work plus some actual interacting with people. also, tomorrow i will have mani/pedi and eyebrows done because i totally deserve some beautification.
...debussy helps fighting the stress. it's entrancing, otherwordly and the afternoon of a faun (wow!! nureyev dancing!!!) reminds me this world is not populated only by barbarians. although, given the last few days, i suspect that unfortunately there are too many of them savages. rhetorical question now: why do they tempt me? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do they have to mention the middle ages in front of someone who studies this for the fun of it for years now? i bit my tongue not to ask about the chansons de geste, guillaume d'orange, marie de france and what were the actual duties of a knight and how this figure was transformed from the rugged warlord in rusty chain mail into the idealized knight in shining armour..
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy did i have to hear such preposterous statements such as "good thing we are living in a republic, not a democracy"? seriously, i graduated political science. i know the difference between the one and the other. and the political system that person was talking about was both by all definitions. to be very specific, a republic with representative democracy, because, let's face it, we no longer live in athens to gather every day in the public square in order to vote for every little law/amendment/whatever while the slaves do all the work.
...what most of all annoys me is that we no longer claim we can't have access to information. we live in a world where information, infinite amounts of it are literally at our finger tips. you are interested in something? you can just google it and voila a gazillion pages, opinions, resources. unless you live in a cave you have no excuse for being an intellectual dwarf. and one can't even claim we are controlled by big brother because, people, this is the good part of the communication devices we have now!! we come in contact with so much diversity, which is a GOOD thing and should encourage thinking and even more opinions one can freely express to the world. like i do right now.
......despite some minor exceptions, which shall be filed under the "oh well, there must be some bad parts", air merlins still rock. some of those i know can do some actual magic and create beauty, which make things better

...which was one of those relatively rare moments when i do something else than work (snif) or pine (snif. am turning into bella swan with a slightly deranged edge. no, i don't want to be a vampire, probably for the simple reason i didn't meet one to torment enough). so, i saw the snow white of fire signs brand, which was FUN! the setting was appropriately dark and wonderful in the same time, the wicked queen was spectacular. unfortunately, snow white is somehow constantly shadowed by these other characters. but all in all, i sort of liked it even though poor snow white is no match for the awesome of charlize. but then again we have a love triangle with thor the huntsman (and you know what? the guy snogs better than the duke's son. also, he's more convincing when he cries) and the duke's son who is also a prince, whatever, he's v cute though. and he snogs the snow girl too, but unfortunately he's not a leo so his kissing can't bring her back to life, which was probably one of the biggest surprises. i mean, i am still cheering for the young duke for the simple reason that he is a duke and in the long run more useful to life in general than a drunkard huntsman who spits a lot.
..of course, one might say that the huntsman with no manners brought our heroine back to life and if he wasn't there, we'd have no story to speak of so we can't be ungrateful to him. plus he cries better, as i mentioned earlier. and probably with a lot of determination, he could be taught to behave appropriately.
also, i would like to mention that snow white is v aries in her rallying the troops and marching them to the battlefield. and probably behind the scenes she is pining for the huntsman and will hunt him down with a determination of an angry god just after she finishes the whole "taking back the throne and the kingdom" business.

...especially when you can elope. i love elopements, particularly the secret romantic ones.once upon a time, not so long ago i was thinking that living a life that was the equivalent of a diet of chocolate and champagne (let's make it chili chocolate and rose wine) was...complicated. later developments showed that honestly, it's where i thrive. it's not like i can be happy anywhere else than a wonderful mess... something like this

wedding as in the ariean bff is getting married and this has the potential of creating a whole dimension of ...stuff,  i am not entirely sure of.
other than that, my thoughts on marriage: i don't particularly need it unless it's under the form of secret romantic elopement just the two of us to a secret destination no one else knows. because it's so much more romantic and it's a very effective method of preventing outside influences which might ruin the whole thing. other than that, i'm just as happy with someone i can love, trust and do wildly romantic and inappropriate things.

it's my way of evening out other harsh aspects of life, such as work, money, blah. no so deep inside i am pretty sure i would have made a good lover for a successful yet completely bonkers writer.

dealing with pluto - never easy, i can tell you that, even though i will have to live with it because it is so. what i don't understand though is some people who refuse to be happy. who are scared of being happy. who would rather wallow in their own vats of resentments and fears and stuff that make me go seriously??? like, are you for real???? than actually live and enjoy the plethora of wonderful things out there. yeah, sure, there's a price for everything and consequences to deal with.
also, a thing i noticed. people that i had the longest albeit slightly deranged relationships with, ALL had a plutonian flavor.