which is why i wish desperately for someone to magically fix everything that's awkward and hurting. however, since vampire eric the awesome is unavailable, i guess i'll have to do it myself. *snark

later edit: i actually think sean bean might be a good idea too... you know, he's got very a very menacing, no-nonsense look even as a human. and he's an aries. according to my astrology books and some real-life experiences aries are great for exacting vengeance like an angry god, championing your rights and be general knights in shining armour. well, as long as they're not playing the royal pain in the butt part (which, according to my sister, is their favourite role)

for some particular reason, this fills me with glee. maybe because it's supposed to mean putting an end to the confusing mess that threatens to expand beyond my abilities to control it. and what time more appropriate is for saturn to hit libra than samhain?

The first Saturn Return is famous because it represents the first test of character and the structures a person has built their lives upon. According to traditions, should these structures be unsound or that a person is living out of touch with his or her true values, the Saturn Return will be a time of upheaval and limitations as Saturn forces him or her to jettison old concepts and worn out patterns of living. It is not uncommon for relationships and jobs to end during this time of life restructuring and reevaluation.

But the Saturn Return is not all about painful endings. During this time astrologers note that goals are consolidated and people tend to gain a better vision of where they are going in life. There are added responsibilities and a person may reap the rewards from his or her hard work. Many major life milestones seem to happen around the ages of 29 and 30. This is why astrologers believe that the thirtieth birthday is such a major rite of passage because it marks the true beginning of adulthood, self-evaluation, independence, ambition, and self actualization.

The planet Saturn represents many archetypes, such as Father Time, the Grim Reaper and his scythe, Kronos, and the Lord of Karma. It is the ruler of limitations, fears, seriousness, responsibilities, burdens, and lessons (thank you. now let's move on). While those concepts may come across as negative, Saturn also astrologically rules over civilization, government, structures, harvests (maybe this is why i am having a generalized problem with harvesting right now), prestige, maturity, and order. Plus, Saturn is exalted in Libra. This explains the fairness issue i am developing and the rewards issue. because, you know, it's all about balance. you give and you get. there's no such thing as a free meal. Saturn has a scale but also a scythe. maybe i will stop fearing to use the scythe.

Cleolinda is awesome. She's the best blogger i've read so far for numerous reasons including: dolls! humor! vampires (i discovered Twilight and Neil Gaiman because of Cleolinda so... thanks). Also because she's the only woman i know (fine, in a very virtual way. i stalk her blog every day) i can identify with. which is why i will buy her vampire e-book. in real life, she is the kind of woman i would totally hang out with. and i love the way she does not spout general sentences like "people are so fake, but i will never compromise", "the world today is rotten" and... you know the rest.
also, gothic dolls, omg. I really want the red haired one, she is soooooooo pretty.
now excuse me while i go sulk and throw a giant self-pity party. because i'm tired, frustrated, numb, dizzy, EXHAUSTED on every level after this bad bad bad bad rotten year that hated me so much. right now, i feel like crawling under a rock and wait for 2010.

no matter what certain jaded capricorns and virgoans believe. it's just a matter of perspective and where to look for it.

Spark off something special for your honeymoon. Simply stay at the Goa Marriott Resort for a minimum of two nights and three days. Your offer includes: A glass of sparkling wine on arrival, Flexi-credit of 4,000 INR per night, "Glimpses of Goa" site seeing once during the stay by a luxury air-conditioned car, Complimentary casino vouchers worth 1,000 INR, Liqueur chocolates in the room, Complimentary usage of private Jacuzzi for the couple after 10:00 PM, Complimentary usage of the sauna, steam, Jacuzzi, swimming pool, tennis and squash court, A special and exclusive candlelight dinner in the room balcony, patio, the lawns or at the seaside once during the stay (personalized menu with the chef), Complimentary bottle of Sparkling or Rosé wine with a chocolate cake once during the stay, Complimentary 30-minute head and neck, massage for the couple once during the stay, Complimentary airport transfers by a luxury car.

i have a new found respect for movie-version bella swan. She slaps a werewolf and she didn't break her hand! That was sexy! Also, werewolves are sexy. Still Team Jacob!

because it's his birthday. Viggo for Oscar!